Not Me Monday, burnt potholder edition...

• I do NOT root through the dirty laundry for socks, work pants and pajamas and wash only those rather than tackling the huge pile of laundry that is barricading my walk in closet door shut. I always do a load several times a week and stay on top of my laundry.
• I am NOT already fantasizing about snow days.
• I did NOT recently send an e-mail at work that contained the word "hear" when I meant to use the word "here". As a teacher, I always spell things correctly and would never make an obvious mistake confusing words.
• I did NOT recently say something insulting to someone resulting in feelings of awkwardness on my part that caused me to avoid that person for several days. I did NOT finally work up the nerve to say sorry only to realize they had no clue what I was talking about. Evidently, what I was so concerned about and had worried over hadn't even phased them. Sheesh.
• This is NOT what happened when I was making macaroni today. I did NOT start a small fire in my kitchen by leaving a potholder next to my burner. I'm ridiculous. Or rather, I'm NOT ridiculous.

What have you been busy NOT doing?

Not Me Monday

• I did NOT have a duffle bag with odds and ends from my mid-August shore vacation still on the floor of my room as of Saturday morning. I have NOT been stepping around it and over it for weeks (months?) rather than taking the ten minutes to unpack it and put it away. I did NOT only unpack it solely because my girlfriend Becca was coming over to see my house for the first time.
• I did NOT totally oversleep and miss church yesterday, waking up in what would be halfway through the second hour. Nope, not me.
• Isaac did NOT start to sing along to some ridiculously campy pop song on the radio today. And when I asked him how he knew the words I did NOT nearly wet my pants when he replied "Daddy listens to that song all the time."
• I did NOT overbook myself on Saturday, causing me to bail on a gf only to run into her bf while I was out at the exact place I told her I didn't want to go. He did NOT call me on it and I did NOT squirm and feel guilty and have to attempt damage control.
• I am NOT contemplating taking a "mental health day" in the coming weeks to catch up on odds and ends and get my 3 inch long roots taken care of.
• I am NOT going to send my kid into school with a box of tampons for the drive for the local foodbank. Although they were on the list of things they desperately needed, I would never make my son bring feminine hygiene products to school when all of his other classmates are sending in canned goods simply because I had a high valued coupon for them.

And there's plenty more denial where that came from...

Not Me Monday

I am NOT completely obsessed with my bagless vacuum. I do NOT repeatedly take out the canister and examine what I have sucked up before and after each new room. I do NOT feel a huge sense of satisfaction as a dump the contents into the trash can. I did NOT skip out of church after Sacrament Meeting this week. Isaac won't go to primary without me and I couldn't bring myself to balance on a tiny sunbeam sized chair and endure Sharing Time this week. EPIC MORMON MOTHER FAIL. We have NOT each been missing one shoe for over a week now (his croc and my red sneaker). All of my closets and bedrooms are perfectly organized and important things like sneakers are never lost or misplaced. They are always in their proper place where we can find them easily. I did NOT allow Isaac to eat Honey Nut Cheerios straight from the box for pretty much every meal this weekend. This is NOT how my hair has looked since Thursday. It's clean(ish), but with no AC at work, trying to excercise regularly, doing the windows down thing instead of the AC in the car, what is the point of running a comb through it when it? Also, going along with this picture, my principal did NOT ask me if I had pink eye. Nope, just never-ending seasonal allergies, thanks! I am not blogging when I should be preparing for my work week and tidying up the house. What have you NOT been doing this week?

Isaac did NOT ask not once but twice who was coming over in response to me vacumming and tidying up. I tried to explain that no one was coming over, I just want the house to be clean, but I'm not sure he is entirely convinced. And while on said cleaning spree I did NOT clean the crumbs and debris off the kitchen counters using the vacuum cleaner. That would be lazy and sort of gross. I did NOT spend half of my grocery budget on the Toy Story 2 DVD for Isaac. That would be ridiculous and excessive and not at all in keeping with my new less-is-more lifestyle. I did NOT let Isaac believe that the tickets I got him to the Reading Phillies (minor league team) were tickets to the actual Phillies. He did NOT see the real Phillies on tv the next day and ask me a million questions about why their uniforms were different. I did NOT go to the outlets with my gf Saturday and convince her to give me free flip flops on the buy one get one free shoe deal at Ann Taylor Loft. What things have you NOT done lately?

Not Me Monday...

Did NOT go out with girlfriends last Saturday for a cheap evening out on the town, at a coffee shop in Wayne. I did NOT decide to go ahead and make a left hand turn because I was in a hurry and there was clearly no traffic coming, despite about three signs informing me lefts were not allowed. I'm a very careful driver who always obeys all traffic laws and posted signs. I did NOT promptly see lights in the rear view and get issued a ticket. While sitting there waiting and waiting for my ticket I did not start to panic at the amount of time it was taking for him to write it up. I have NOT had so many tickets that I would have an understanding of the average amount of time it should take to issue a ticket for a simple traffic violation. I did NOT start wracking my brain for other things he could potentially be arresting me for (am I up to date on my property taxes??) The officer did NOT issue me a second ticket for having an expired registration. My registration did NOT expire in January. It is NOT currently the end of April. (whoops) The "cheap" night out with girlfriends did NOT end up costing me over two hundred dollars in tickets.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. I did NOT send Isaac to school in shorts and a t-shirt today. It's really as warm as I thought it would be. Now I'm that mom being judged by all the teachers... I was NOT asked by the school librarian today (an older guy who is right on the borderline of hilarious and pervy) if I had just woken up due to the extreme unruliness of my hair. Yeah, I need a haircut. I get it. I do NOT regularly get e-mails from AARP. I'm only 28. What the heck?!?! I did NOT forget all about an IEP meeting tomorrow. I did NOT have to stay at work till nearly 7:00 to finish everything I need to do to get ready. I did NOT finish off most of the leftover cheesecake in the faculty fridge after school and then stop by McDonald's for dinner. I am NOT laying in bed watching Intervention instead of working out as the cheesecake and fries settle themselves on my hips and thighs.

Not Me Monday/Crafting FAIL

I did NOT decide yesterday that I need to be more domestic (getting back to the original roots of this blog!) and decide to try a simple quilted pot holder as a birthday present for my friend. Cutting out the fabric went well. Piecing it went reasonably well (this is usually my downfall for quilted projects of any kind so I was stoked). I went to the fabric store after work today to get some of the special heat resistant batting that does on the inside. I did NOT panic when the lady asked me how much I wanted and panic and say "Two yards". Two yards will NOT make approximately 28762 potholders. If you feel like making a quilted potholder, you should NOT stop by and help yourself to my special heat resistant batting. I came home and sewed the potholder together. I did NOT accidently sew the quilted top inside out so that all the seams are showing. I did NOT have to pick it all apart painstakingly. I did not NOT sew it all over again on to discover this time that the batting was now on the OUTSIDE and the blue fabric which was intended to be on the bottom was in the middle. I am NOT giving up for the evening. *Sigh* I'm so not domestic...

Not Me Monday - TMI edition

I did NOT chalk Isaac's "my stomach hurts" on Thursday night and Friday morning up to his usual I-don't-wanna-go-to-school attitude. I did NOT have to frantically call my mother at 7:15 am and beg her to take Isaac for the day after he tossed his cookies all over the (beige) carpet on the stairwell.

I did NOT end up scrubbing more vomit out of the stairwell again later after I brought him home and he promptly tossed his cookies again.

Later that evening Isaac did NOT develop a terrible case of the runs. I did NOT make the wise decision to let him wear shorts with no underwear. He did not have a horrifying accident which fell directly out of his shorts and onto (you guessed it) the biege carpeted stairwell.

I will NOT be spending next Saturday renting a rug doctor for the stairwell.

In less disgusting news -

I did NOT screw up no bake dessert bars this evening when trying to get my chocolate fix.

(There are literally two ingredients: water and butter. ) Domesticity is NOT still a faraway dream...

*Ahem.*

I do not ADORE watching Parking Wars on A and E. I do NOT recognize random streets in Center City Philly just from watching this show.

I do NOT have so much dirty laundry that I will probably need a forklift to get it down to the laundry room whenever I get around to do doing it.

NOPE! Not me!

Not me Monday (on saturday)

I'm joining in this week (albeit a little early) * My four year old did NOT clog up the upstairs toilet with about half a roll of the thick expensive toilet paper I recently bought. And I did NOT wait and let my brother deal with the toilet when he called to say he was five minutes away.

* I did NOT watch the Lifetime special The Pregnancy Pact two and a half times this week...

* I do NOT put things on my to-do list that I have already done simply for the pleasure of seeing them crossed off. Nope, never. * This is NOT the pile of clean laundry I must fold and put away (along with the two more loads in the basement, and now the bathmat [for the second time today] which was flooded with toilet water less than an hour after I pulled it out of the dryer and placed in back on the bathroom floor) . *I did NOT take my bra off in the living room the other day when I was watching TV and throw it behind the couch because I was too lazy to take it upstairs. And Isaac did NOT discover it and pull it out when my brother and his girlfriend were over today. And if that were to occur, I certainly would NOT blame the cats and make up a story about them dragging my laundry all over the house... *Neither this week, nor any other week have I taken the laptop into the bathroom with me... no, not me... NEVER!

* I do NOT occasionally give in and let Isaac put on some of my make-up.

*Isaac did NOT start singing "Yeah" by Lil Jon and Usher in front of PDH. I did NOT have to try to come up with an explanation while PDH looked horrified that I would let my son listen to that song often enough to memorize the chorus... (for the record, he has a photographic memory, for real). Nope. Not me.