half icecream half human hybrids

Whatever Tickles Your Fancy: Click on Mrs. Scoop to go to Icecream People, a whole blog devoted to art of people who are made of icecream. For real!

a recent picture

I'm actually not in a ton of recent photos. It's generally just me and Isaac and I am obviously usually the one behind the camera. My family (parents, siblings, etc) rarely take pictures at gatherings and when we do, Isaac is usually the subject. Anyways, here we go:

This was taken last week. It is post-14 mile bike ride on a 100 degree day, so excuse the appearance. I also look especially chubby in this picture, especially my arms.

ANYWAYS.

I'm at my girlfriend's house and that is her darling baby who took my sunglasses off my head and put them on herself.

She is my little friend.

Life continues to be fabulous. Somehow despite having no official obligations I feel like my days are totally crammed and my house is a continuous mess. There's still so much fun to be had before schools starts again and we are totally making the most of it. I'm loving this summer.

How are things with you?

wish I could be more eloquent

Sometimes I sort of understand why young Mormon kids get married ASAP to the first person they click with; just to check themselves out of the insanity of the search.

Dating is emotionally exhausting.

Dating with a kid is emotionally exhausting.

Dating with everyone else's expectations and constant pressures is emotionally exhausting.

Dating someone with emotional baggage is exhausting.

Dealing with your own baggage while dating is exhausting. I'm taking my toe back out of the pool for a while...

yay Lilith!

Last night I got to see Sarah McLachan, one of my favorite artists of all time perform at the Lilith Fair. I had resigned myself to no more concerts pretty much ever, because they are so expensive, but I got an e-mail offering 10 dollar lawn tickets and I couldn't pass it up. We just caught the last three acts which were Sara Barielles, The Courtyard Hounds (Dixie Chicks minus Natalie Maines) and Sarah. She played all the stuff you would want to hear (Adia, Building a Mystery, Arms of the Angels, I Will Remember you), and some more obscure fan favorites (World on Fire my favorite song of hers, and Icecream as an encore). She also played three songs from her new album which I really enjoyed.

Sarah's music was the soundtrack to some difficult times in my life. I listened to Mirrorball and Afterglow probably thousands of time during my pregnancy. I also love Sarah McLachlan because she is so passionate about so many different causes (she is the one in those supersad animal commercials) and she really puts her money where her mouth is.

So well worth ten bucks in my opinion. We also didn't have to pay for parking and my friend paid for tolls, so cheap night all round. And perfect weather to boot.

a picture of me that is more than 10 years old

This was taken of me my sophomore year at Pitt. If it's not ten years old, it's pretty close. It was taken on this newfangled contraption, a camera that put your pictures right on the computer: a digital camera! Seriously, these pictures were the first time I had ever seen or heard of one. This isn't my dorm room, it is down in the engineer guys room (co-ed floor with girls wings and guys wings).

My room...

And just for fun.... (in case you couldn't tell, it is a flyer for LOCKERS)

a picture I took

Easy... I always take the pictures and am rarely in them. I'll keep going with the old school Isaac theme. Isaac as a curly haired baby, looking at a picture of his dad with my school stuff behind him.

Photo that makes you angry/sad

These were pictures from when my old job, where I worked with kids with autism and severe behavior problems. It's sad of course, because the student who inflicted these on me (and yes, those are exactly what they look like, individual finger marks as a result of being grabbed and squeezed) was in such complete crisis, which is terribly hard to deal with. Behavioral meltdowns are a crisis and are exhausting mentally, physically and emotionally for everyone involved.

It also is a stressful time personally for me because my particular job description at that point in my career at this school was to help de-escalate kids in crisis, and it seemed like there were constantly kids in crisis. This really took it's toll on me day after day and was very hard to deal with. In addition to working full time at a physically demanding and stressful job, I was in grad school full time, running around constantly, getting very little sleep and not seeing my baby for long stretches. It was a hard time in my life. In the end, it was worth it and I did what I had to do to finish school and get where I am today. I don't remember tomorrow's topic, but hopefully it is more cheerful.

oh and I can still have it all...

Can this just be my themesong for the next little bit? (Overbearing/well meaning ward members, I'm looking at you)....

Today's Post: Photos that make me happy

Babies make me happy. In particular, my baby. These are some old ones of Isaac that people who only read this blog might not have seen. Or, for those of you who followed me over on the old myspace blog, some flashbacks. Playing around in my make-up....

An old one of Isaac and my brother Tom. I *LOVE* this one... His dad never lets his hair get curly anymore... (and don't I look super young? and frighteningly pale?) First smile caught on film

Tiny baby? Or massive cat? Or BOTH! (Isaac is less than a month in this pic with my parents old cat Danielle)

"that really hurt"

Day 6 - Whatever tickles your fancy I dunno if I will *EVER* get tired of this one.

I'm just going to say it.

NEWSFLASH

No one outside of Utah cares about pioneer day.

Seriously.

It's 100 degrees.

No one wants to dress up in pioneer clothes and square dance.

Go to the pool.

(that's all)

not Nelson Mandela...

Day 5 - Your favorite quote This quote is from the book "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson. It is often misattributed to Nelson Mandela, who quoted it. Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

validation

Sometimes I agonize so much about how I come off to others it's ridiculous. I was e-mailing back and forth with a girlfriend about some of my (thousands of) insecurities of course in the context of dating. I was lamenting that I have nothing to say that doesn't relate in some way to five year olds (having one at home and working with them all day at school). Here was a part of her reply. Sometimes it's nice for someone else to affirm what you try so hard to be and see in yourself. "It's no consolation from me, but you are very smart and you come off very smart and confident, almost intimidatingly so.... I think him seeing your interests outside of kids is a plus, but also your love for kids and ability to teach kids who most people can't even figure out how to communicate is a huge part of who you are. You went to enough school to be making double what you must be making (I'm pulling this out of the blue) if you'd chosen another field. That is a really big deal. The balance of having a strong sense of self and desire to better yourself, and also dedication to sacrifice and better the world around you in some way is a very rare and spectacular thing. You're giving and empathetic but not a doormat. Anyone who is dating you needs to get that and be completely blown away by how amazing that is. " Have a nice weekend. Take time to assure others... =)

"If I'm not a good ball player, I'll tell you something, I'm going to be a CPA"

Day 4 - Favorite Book Easy.

Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh When I was in fourth grade we could randomly choose books from the classroom library. I found that one and read it over and over and over. While I was looking to see if I could find the particular cover I remember borrowing (it was orange) I came across this image. Holy crap! Someone got a Harriet the Spy illustration tattoo! So cool!

What is your favorite book?

this is the best elevator music i've ever heard...

Day 3 - Favorite TV show Of all time would be these guys:

Runners up:

What TV shows are your favorites?

OH NO

Photo source

The dentist has forbidden me from drinking Diet Coke for the next two weeks.

I have serious doubts that I will be able to survive.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he also banned gum chewing.

It's going to be a rough two weeks...

the cheese inspectors beat the crap out of us

Day 2 - Favorite Movie Again, how do you choose just one? Well this is one of my favorites. I just love it. It's very weird. Which is part of it's appeal. (Also, yes, it is about a guy and a sex doll, but there is nothing sexual or inappropriate about it).

What's your favorite movie?

it seems like I should say, as long as this is love, but it's not all that easy...

This feels self indulgent...

But....

Isn't having a blog a bit self indulgent?

30 Days of ME Day 1: Your favorite song Day 2: Your favorite movie Day 3: Your favorite television program Day 4: Your favorite book Day 5: Your favorite quote Day 6: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 7: A photo that makes you happy Day 8: A photo that makes you angry/sad Day 9: A photo you took Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago Day 11: A photo of you taken recently Day 12: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 13: A fictional book Day 14: A non-fictional book Day 15: A fanfic Day 16: A song that makes you cry (or nearly) Day 17: An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) Day 18: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 19: A talent of yours Day 20: A hobby of yours Day 21: A recipe Day 22: A website Day 23: A YouTube video Day 24: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 25: Your day, in great detail Day 26: Your week, in great detail Day 27: This month, in great detail Day 28: This year, in great detail Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days Day 30: Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 1 - Favorite Song

How can I possibly choose just one song that is my favorite? The video is nothing special but the song is amazing.

Anna Begins - Counting Crows (please ignore how the playlist says "THE Counting Crows". There is no THE)/

Here are the lyrics from the album version. The live version I posted is a bit different.... My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing." I am not worried, I am not overly concerned. My friend implores me, "For one time only, make an exception." I am not worried. Wrap her up in a package of lies, Send her off to a coconut island. I am not worried, I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions. "Oh," she says, "you're changing." We're always changing... It does not bother me to say this isn't love. Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love. And I guess I'm gonna have to live with that. But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey, Or something in between, And I can always change my name If that's what you mean. My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing." But I am not really worried, I am not overly concerned. You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself To make yourself forget. To make yourself forget. I am not worried. "If it's love," she said, "then we're gonna have to think about the consequences." But she can't stop shaking and I can't stop touching her and... This time when kindness falls like rain It washes her away. And Anna begins to change her mind. "These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days," she says. And I'm not ready for this sort of thing. But I'm not gonna break and I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. I'm not gonna bend, and I'm not gonna break. And I'm not going to worry about it anymore. It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..." But it's not all that easy, so maybe I should Snap her up in a butterfly net and pin her down on a photograph album. I am not worried cuz I've done this sort of thing before. But then I start to think about the consequences, And I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and... This time when kindness falls like rain It washes me away. And Anna begins to change my mind. And everytime she sneezes I believe it's love and, Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing. She's talking in her sleep. It's keeping me awake. And Anna begins to toss and turn. And every word is nonsense but I understand and, Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing. Her kindness bangs a gong, It's moving me along. And Anna begins to fade away. It's chasing me away. She disappears, and Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

What's your favorite song?

Update

I'm assuming those of you who check this blog on any kind of basis have at least a marginal interest in my life. You might have noticed that quality/quantity of posts has been down lately.

Well.

It's summer vacation and we are in total relax mode now.

Summer school is done. I pulled Isaac out of pre-K and we are just taking a month or so to be together and do fun stuff and take each day as it comes.

My mom commented the other day that I seem so much more relaxed and happy now when we talk. Yeah, not working 40 plus hours a week and being stretched ridiculously thin will do that.

It's LOVELY.

I've just been trying to savor July which is wide open and wonderful. August gets a bit busier with my sister's wedding, family vacations and back to school.

So what have we been doing?

Excercise

I had an unfortuneate mishap with my bike rack (I backed the car over it one day in my hurry to get to work). It actually belonged to my dad and I felt quite bad about destroying it. He is the one who bought me my bike and loaned me his bike rack and has really encouraged me to keep up with it. Anyways, he ended up buying me another one, although I haven't been able to get out on the trail yet. It's too hot in the middle of the day (100+ degrees) when I tend to have a sitter. My body is craving a long ride though, so hopefully soon.

I rejoined a gym and I have been excercising almost every day. I've forgotten how amazing it feels to get sweaty and have warm muscles and endorphins running through your body. I've been doing their Zumba which is totally addicting and yoga. The other day though the Zumba teacher was sick and the replacement teacher did a body pump circuit class with cardio and weights and I really enjoyed that as well, so maybe I will try some other classes too. I even ran for a bit on the treadmill yesterday and miraculously didn't die. I'm not going to try to set some lofty weight loss goal or anything but it feels good to be moving again and hopefully the result will be better cardio endurance/toning up. I tend to eat better too when I have worked out, so I think that helps too. I know I won't be able to keep up my six days a week work out schedule once school starts up again, but hopefully I can keep up with occasional classes.

Home projects

I should get some pictures up. I've been slowly clearing out the basement (which is really unfinished back half of the first floor of my house). It's halfway framed out all ready and my brother Joe says that for 100 bucks he could frame out the rest of it. We have to do the framing before we can lay the tile floor, which is what I really want. After living here barely a year the linoleum in the entryway is totally stained (thanks to potty training a baby kitten) and ripped and I just want it gone. Sadly, I won't be able to afford the new flooring for quite a while but I wouldn't mind having everything ready to go as I slowly squirrel away money.

I also have been trying to tackle smaller projects too. I finally replaced the hideous throw pillows that came with my couch with more attractive ones. I finally replaced my teenager style bedding with something I like a lot more. I ordered some curtains for my bedroom. Hopefully I will get some curtains up in the living room/kitchen before the summer is out and this place can start looking like a finished home instead of a half inhabited fraternity house.

Joe also came this weekend and spent the better part of Saturday painting the entry way and downstairs stairway. I wish I would have taken some before pictures so you could truly appreciate what an improvement it is. Builders white is so unattractive and I think the whole entryway feels so much warmer and inviting now that it is painted a soft beige. We hadn't thought it would take so long, but it took nearly two hours just to tape everything off before we could even begin to paint. The entryway is pretty much just an open space with a series of doors: the front door, the door to the powder room, coat closet, garage, the furnace room, and the unfinished basement, so it was a ton to tape off. Then since the walls really hadn't ever been painted before they really soaked up the paint and we went through more than we had planned. Joe is extremely sought after for his handyman/painting skills, and people pay him a ton of money, so I am so lucky when he agrees to squeeze me in and work on my house for free. He even commented as he was taping endlessly, "This better at least make the blog!" So I will give him an official shout-out: THANKS JOE FOR YOUR WONDERFUL WORK ON MY HOUSE! It looks fantastic! It was fun to spend the day with you! I love you!

Here we are riding around in the back of his truck with the paint (don't worry mom, just around the neighborhood, not out on the open road or anything).

I even helped Joe this time (generally he won't let me anywhere near it). I did all the brushwork and he came behind me with the roller which sped things up I think. I learned a lot of good tips. This only leaves the upstairs hallway/stairwell and my bedroom left to paint. I'm pretty excited. In other home project news I have been doing crazy clean outs. I've been through both our closets, sorted through all Isaac's toys and movies and quite a bit of the garage and basement. I have to make some decisions about a few things still, and possibly list some things on Craig's list and put in some better systems to organize the things that I have decided to keep. I'm trying to tackle at least a drawer or a surface every day. I am not a terrible packrat or anything, but my organization skills definitely leave room for improvement. It is amazing how much stuff just accumulates quickly in the house too. It feels good to clean out and hopefully pass things on to people who can use them. I also borrowed my parents carpet cleaner and that is on this week's to do list as well. The carpets are looking quite shabby. Hopefully a few passes with the cleaning machine will restore them somewhat. Dating I'm not going to elaborate much, but I am dipping my toe tenatively back in the dating pool. Nothing serious yet but I am enjoying myself. PDH randomly called me the other day and we had a decent conversation. Afterwards I realized that I no longer think about him every day anymore, don't find myself resisting urges to text him mundane details about my everyday life, or trying to figure out what went wrong. So yes, things are fine in this department as well. But no details yet. =) Playdates/Hanging with Friends and Family

It has always been my fantasy to have a single mom friend that I could talk to about life, thatI could trade babysitting with, etc. etc. Well, my childhood best friend moved back to the area with her three girls and we have been hanging out with them almost every day. Really, I don't have any friends at all with kids period, so it's nice to have that in common with someone, and to have someone to call up when we are headed to the park. They have a pool in their apartment complex that they have invited us to quite a few times. A few times now she has watched Isaac while I've gone to work out and then when I've returned I've watched the kids while she goes shopping/runs errands/etc. alone. It's really nice to have a non-family member I can call up fairly last minute who I feel totally comfortable leaving Isaac with.

Here are some pictures of Isaac with her oldest Sandra when we took them to a fair the other day.

You wouldn't know it from this picture but Sandra actually LOVED the cotton candy

and Isaac hated it and was in the process of spitting it out.

It's fun now that he isn't totally terrified of rides like he was last summer. Anyways, there is lots more to report but I'm sort of running out of steam. Keep checking back, I promise I will be better about blogging. And leave comments!

Asking the tough questions

One of the great things about the pre-school age is being blindsided by random difficult questions. Today yielded this fabulous gem that I couldn't even bring myself to deal with yet.

Tough Conversation

"So, when are you getting married mom?" "I don't know. Not anytime soon hunny". Here I am thinking I am reassuring him as he has been so anxious/upset about my sister getting married. "But moms and dads are supposed to be married to each other." **RECORD SCRATCH**

Oh crap.

We're doing this now?

Quick, what do I say????

"Well, Isaac, there are lots of different kinds of families. Not every family has a mom and a dad who are married to each other. What's important is that the people in families love each other. And your dad and I both love you very much." "Well your dad is married to your mom." "That's true." "Well, maybe you could marry my dad."

Please.

Make it stop.

"No hunny. Mommy isn't going to get married anytime soon.... So! What would you like for breakfast today?"

I think that was our most awkward conversation to date.

Stayed tuned for tomorrow's report on our other recent awkward conversation, tenatively entitled "Will I ever have a sibling?"

Prison Labor and Delivery

This is insane and so sad.

namaste

I did yoga tonight for the first time since college. Suprrisingly, I am still pretty limber, considering how round and out of shape I have become over the years. Anyways, I forgot how much I LOVE it. I hope I can continue to do it at least once a week even once school starts up again. It's so relaxing. I love the chance to be still and focus on breathing and stretching and being in the moment. Check out this (not terribly research based) article that lists 77 benefits of yoga.

love this

I saw this tree in Rittenhouse Square this past weekend when running around with my girlfriends. So I googled the story. Thoughts?

Despicable Me

Was awarded six thumbs up by me, Isaac and my mom. I liked it even better than Toy Story. Check it out!

words can't bring me down

Sure it's cheesey, but haven't you ever heard this on the radio and totally belted it out?

Can we talk about

My love for our first lady's sense of style?

One of my favorite blogs Tlo always profiles her styles choices.

I love how she always modernizes the traditional first lady pearls and suits. She always looks so sleek and modern.

I appreciate that...

"We want to make you as beautiful as possible but still keeping you alive" -- David's Bridal alterations lady in a thick French Accent on how fitted the bodice of my dress should be

yeah...

No, no. It's not racial profiling. It's just targeting people based on their clothes, grooming habits, appearances and accents....

So I was debating joining the throngs of Philly people heading to the shore today, when my mom convinced me to join her and my dad for a day at the Kutztown Folk Festival. When I hear Folk Festival I think dirty hippies (which is totally cool!) but this was more PA dutch. It was a good time, despite the absolutely sweltering weather (high 90s with very little shade).

Old fashioned merry go round (pulled by that horse).

Oogling Amish quilts. Isaac announced loudly that quilting was "a good thing for old ladies to do". Several old ladies turned around and chuckled. One of my favorites.

All of the food was PA Dutch type. Seriously, gross.

Eis Kalt Lemon Drinka

Picking up some new profanity.

Bubble machine/organ.

Isaac rode around through the dust in one of those little tin can cars.

This was fun.

I felt so bad for this sheep but it just sat there. As the man explained, when you take it's legs out from under it, it has no power...

Hex signs.