ick

(not actually me) =P

So I am an avid watcher of Intervention. When an addict's family is trying to help their loved one get into treatment, the counselor generally tells them that the addict must hit rock bottom. He then works with the family to set firm boundaries that can help speed along the process of the addict hitting a "bottom".

Well, I have been really, really struggling with my finances and budgeting and this weekend I sort of hit a bottom.

Not rock bottom, I'm not filing bankruptcy or losing my home or anything.

But I did hit sort of a bottom.

I ran home to my parents house in Lancaster to have a good cry with my folks and to sort through a huge stack of bills and try to get things in order. It was much easier to have someone help me deal with each sheet of paper and make a budget. Aside from the nuts of bolts of working in excel and crunching numbers we also had a pretty good talk about my life and the patterns it seems to follow.

Realities:

• A tactic I use often in my life is avoidance. I will physically avoid my problems (for example, not going to the mailbox, or not opening my bills) or just avoid thinking about them or dealing with them.
• Refusing to deal with my problems doesn't help me actually avoid the stress. It still manifests itself physically in the form of crippling headaches, upset stomachs and skin rashes. So best to just deal with things and ask for help.
• I am still trying to live the lifestyle that I lived when I lived at home with my parents/the lifestyle that my childless mortgage-less friends live. This cannot continue. I need to get into frugal mom mode ASAP.
• Along the same lines, I must learn to say no to other people, to Isaac and to myself. I do not have to take Isaac to every birthday party he is invited to. I do not have to buy candy/flowers/sandwich coupons to support my coworkers kid's fundraisers every time they ask. I do not have to attend every jewelry, candle, Tastefully Simple or retirement party for my coworkers. I do not have to attend every school function. I can't go out to eat with my girlfriends whenever they ask. When I'm hungry I need to go home and eat leftovers instead of going to Wawa. I can no longer kill an hour wandering around Target and tossing whatever catches my eye into the cart. I can't buy tickets for every concert or play that I would like. I simply cannot afford it. This one is really hard for me. I am not one of those mom's that revels in clipping coupons and going a year without a haircut. But it's time to get serious about cutting back.
• I'm not going to elaborate much on this one but you know that old expression "For every finger you point and someone else, there are three more pointing right back at you?" I think there is truth to qualities that I despise in others are the ones I might recognize within myself. It tough to deal with.

Then I had a lovely sleep in the pink spare room and went to church with them in the morning. I picked Isaac up from his dad's and brought him back there and we stayed for dinner and played outside. It was a lovely little retreat. Coming home this evening I feel better able to face things and I have some action items on my to do list that can help me move forward rather than just be stuck in a mire of anxiety and fear. So to recap, I have the best family in the world, I'm facing and dealing with my problems, and I can't go to the movies for the next three years at least. How was your weekend?