Birthdays

So Isaac is officially 11. His big present was Beats headphones.  He wanted red, we pre-ordered red and picked up a box marked red from Best Buy only to have him open the box and discover that they were pink (well to be fair, sort of a reddish pink).  I wanted to exchange them but apparently pink is cool now and he was totally fine keeping them.  I was upset that we didn't get what we ordered and kept questioning if he was sure he didn't want us to take them back.  This caused Ryan to make me feel like a bad feminist for making Isaac feel like he couldn't be just as happy with pink. 




Isaac had his birthday party this past weekend at a local family fun center with go karts, bumper cars, laser tag and arcade games.  I was not exactly looking forward to it, but it actually was incredibly painless.  We only had 7 boys which was a manageable number and our party hostess was great and literally took care of everything from corralling the boys through every activity to cutting the cake.   This left Ryan free to entertain Hannah and I just sat at the table, took pictures and relaxed which was great.

You can barely see Hannah as a passenger in the go kart.

Hannah was very excited for Isaac's party, although she kept saying "Come on Mommy!  Let's go my pah-ty!"  She was also a huge fan of the cake, which she also called a "pah-ty" and pulled it down off the counter trying to serve herself another slice.

The saran wrap saved it!

(By the way, Costco is the place to go for cheap sheet cakes, twice as much cake for half as much money as any other bakery I looked at.  As you can see we had tons leftover.) 



We also left Hannah with my mom one night and went to a Sixers game with my dad.  It used to be something we did every year for Isaac's birthday but we haven't gone the past few years.  It was a treat for my dad to join us on a weeknight.



 

The Sixers ended up losing (as usual!), but it was a fun game.  It is very rare that Ryan and I get to do something with just Isaac and not Hannah, so it was fun to sort of remember the way things used to be and really enjoy the game without having to worry about chasing a toddler around.
 

Ryan is still struggling with his health.  At his latest appointment they said they would like him to consider having surgery to remove part of his colon.  This was super scary and not what he wanted to hear but it seems that he has the most severe kind of ulcerative colitis and remission from his symptoms may not be in the cards without surgery.   He is not really responding to any of the treatments that they have tried and he can't keep on taking these high doses of toxic medicines forever.  The prednisone in particular makes him terrifically irritable, keeps him up most of the night and sends his blood sugar dangerously high.  The good news is, once he has the surgery, he should get pretty immediate relief from his symptoms, feel energetic and more like himself and be able to return to life as we knew it before November.  Essentially the surgery is a cure.  Ryan has a few more appointments and then we will look at scheduling the surgery.  I am hoping it doesn't fall too close to the time I am having the baby but making it work seems to be our theme as of late, so we will figure it out one way or another.

 

I haven't been very diligent in documenting this pregnancy.  I made Ryan take a picture of me on Valentine's day before church (hence the pink tights) and Hannah then declared "Me too!" until we took a picture of her in the same spot.  I am still not really prepared for baby #3 and kind of started hyper ventilating when the doctor told me I am ready to start scheduling every two week appointments because that means we are really in the home stretch.  I had some Old Navy cash to spend and did get him a few things for spring.
 

I also picked up some new bottles at Babies R Us.  Part of me wanted to give breastfeeding another go, but I decided that it is going to be hard enough to be outnumbered by our children, I don't think I can handle being the only source of food for a newborn round the clock.  I never hear anyone talk about how overwhelming breastfeeding can be, but I found it took a serious toll on my mental health and well being to literally dread every time Hannah opened her eyes and I had to attempt to painfully latch her on.  When I was trying to do it with Hannah breastfeeding was an all consuming obsession-- literally the only thing I could think or talk about.  I won't have that luxury this time around with Ryan being (hopefully) back to work, a toddler to chase around and activities to shuttle Isaac to four nights a week. So anyways, I am trying not to feel guilty about formula feeding this baby from the get go, but I still sort of do.  That's motherhood for you though.  Always something to feel guilty about.

Hannah is talking up a storm.  She cracks me up because whenever someone makes any sort of comment about smelling a smell, she will proudly say "It's me!" She also gets so excited about everything.  The other day during dinner she excitedly shouted to me "Mommy!  Daddy [gave] Hannah MEAT!" like it was the best thing in the world.  She loves Minnie and Mickey but will only call Donald "Duck". 



 Well we made it through the blizzard including a rather treacherous Sunday drive to get Isaac back from his dad, followed by two snow days and now a two hour delay tomorrow.  I am always a fan of snow days, but especially this year since I will be on maternity leave when it is time to make them up.  BRING ON THE SNOW!  We were a little concerned since Ryan is still so weak and not really in physical shape for removing over 2 feet of snow from our driveway, but we were able to arrange for a teenage boy in our neighborhood to help clear out driveway and sidewalks.  He did a great job, so that was a relief.

In other news, we bought Hannah a toddler bed from someone in our neighborhood and have been working with her on actually sleeping in it, instead of cuddled in between me and Ryan in our bed, where she would sleep if she had her way.  So far she makes it through the night about 50% of the time (and mind you, it is at the foot of our bed).  I would love to have her moved out of our room completely by the time the baby gets here, but I would settle for just consistently making it through the night in the toddler bed. 

We also reached the end of the initial 12 weeks of speech recommended for Hannah.  We have seen so much improvement in her vocabulary and articulation.  They toyed around the idea of dismissing her but we decided to decrease her services from twice a week to once a week for 8 more weeks and then re-evaluating her progress then.  Today she said "pizza" for the first time which was exciting.  She does not label things often, but will say "No this" or "I want that".  I know she is working really hard though and I am proud of how far she has come.

 I am now officially in my third trimester of pregnancy at 27 weeks.  I had the dreaded glucola test and it went well.  I am starting to feel a lot bigger and at the end of the day I am so stiff I can barely move.  I am dreading how much worse it gets over the next 13 weeks.  I am just not someone who enjoys being pregnant.  We still have some major items to purchase for baby #3 (car seat and double stroller) but we still have some time.

Ryan is continuing with his Remicaid treatments.  He had a bad reaction to his first treatment, so they took some precautions to try to avoid those this time around.  The treatments totally compromise his immune system, and  he now has an upper respitory infection in addition to everything else.  He is always exhausted and wiped out during the day, but one of the medicines he is on keeps him up during the night which is frustrating for him.

Living with someone who is chronically ill can be challenging.  I feel bad feeling that way since I am the healthy one but it's true.  It just feels like such hard timing with the baby coming.  I know I am being unfair when I feel resentful that Ryan is napping on the couch and I am running the kids around after a long day at school.  Other times I am just scared. My mind always races to the worst case scenario-- that Ryan will never be able to return to work and we will never be able to afford a bigger place or to live more comfortably.  That I will never be able to leave my job that I hate because I carry the health insurance.  I am scared Ryan may get much sicker and I will end up raising three kids alone. Sometimes I wonder if we will just ever get a break. 

Christmas recap

Hello.  Back from another little blogging break.

We have been enjoying our Christmas break.  We spent a few days with my parents for Christmas and Hannah's birthday on the 26th.  I was stressed out about Christmas as we were waiting on a bonus check from Ryan's job that didn't come until the very last second.  Ryan really took the lead with buying and wrapping the gifts this year.  It was out of my comfort zone to give up so much control, but he did a great job.  Isaac got a playstation with some games, some new clothes, and a bean bag chair, among other things.   Hannah enjoyed lots of Doc McStuffin's gear, new pajamas and books and a little set of child size housecleaning tools.  A highlight of Christmas was movie tickets for  Isaac, my dad and Ryan to see Star Wars. 

My mom and I took the kids to the North Science Museum in Lancaster together.  Then Ryan joined us to take the kids to the Crayola Factory.  My mom has taken Isaac many times, but this was the first time that Ryan and I had been.  It was a great day.  We loved playing with all of the products and exploring the exhibits.

We did pre-Christmas and New Year's Eve trips to say goodbye to Sesame Place.  We definitely got some good use out of our season passes this year. Hannah is big enough to ride most of the rides there and really seemed to enjoy them.  She isn't afraid at all and will sign "more" after it ends.

Hannah

Hannah had a birthday and will now proudly tell you she is TWO! 

Eating birthday cake

She is a such a sweet and loving girl, full of energy.  She loves to dance, give kisses, watch Sesame Street, play with her Doc McStuffins doctor kit and cuddle with daddy and mommy.  She watches everyone and tries to copy everything they do, especially Isaac.  She is still very attached to her binky.  We are trying to save it only for the car and sleeping but she is crafty and manages to get one more often than not.  A hundred times a day we hear "Where Hannah binky?.....Oh!  'ere it is!"  We bought her a potty and she likes to sit on it and then shout "I pee!".  If we remember to keep her pantless she will initiate using the potty with very few accidents.    I don't want to push her although she definitely knows when she needs to use the bathroom and does her best to get there when the potty is nearby.  She also will let you know when her diaper/pull up is wet. We just haven't fully delved into full on potty training yet. It would be great to have her out of diapers before the baby comes, but we'll see.
 
Hannah is currently OBSESSED with cookie monster.  We had a character lunch for New Year's at Sesame Place and every time she met a character she asked him/her "Where Cookie?" She got quite a few cookie monster themed things for her birthday and Christmas.

We are continuing speech with her and her talking has really come a long way.   She still doesn't have a very large vocabulary but she has started linking words together.  She can be so polite.  Sometimes she will say "No thank you."  Sometimes when she is emotional she will say "No way!"
She is also very concerned about Ryan and if he leaves the room she will say "I dunno where daddy go?" She has also started handing me things and saying " 'ere you go mommy".   She also loves when someone comes into a room.  She will shout " 'ere he is!" so enthusiastically as if she has been watching hopefully for you all day. 

Isaac

Isaac will turn 11 in February which blows my mind.  He has been busy planning his party (I gave in and said he could have one this year, even though birthday parties rank right up there with root canal on the Things I Would Rather Die Than Do list).  Isaac decided to hold it at a local go kart place.  He keeps himself very busy with sports.  When he isn't off playing basketball, baseball or soccer in formal leagues he is out in the yard kicking a ball or going on a jog through the neighborhood. I am grateful to have a kid that likes to be so busy rather than a couch potato who wants to play video games all day.

Isaac has his dad's flair for fashion.  He likes his outfit, socks and shoes to be all coordinated and will change his outfit multiple times a day (which drives me crazy).  He got a new smart(er) phone for Christmas.  Not the iphone he was hoping for, but he seemed pleased. We have been finishing up his science project which involves using different types of salt to melt ice.   I was concerned that this was going to end up being my project to complete, but he has actually taken a lot of initiative and done a great job.

Ryan
Ryan is still home from work, which Hannah is enjoying.   One of the medications he is on makes him very woozy and unable to drive.  Since his job involves driving all day, it won't really work.  They are still searching for the best treatment options to manage his ulcerative colitis without throwing his diabetes completely out of whack.  He will soon be starting some treatments called Remicaid which are basically like chemotherapy.  It is a little scary and drastic, but hopefully will provide the relief that other options have not provided him so that he can get back to work and start to feel more like himself.

As for me, I am feeling pretty well.  I am in the nice part of the second trimester where I have energy, I am not uncomfortably huge, the baby is moving but not killing me from the inside out.  Some of my looser clothes still fit, but I have been rotating maternity clothes in and out.  I hit the jackpot on a before Christmas sale at Old Navy and was able to add some good maternity basics into my wardrobe.  We have also gotten some clothes and other items for the baby.  The ultrasound let us know we are having a boy.  We will probably name him Tyler.

Work continues to be busy as I am trying to squeeze in all of my IEP meetings in before my leave, and my students this year have so many issues (mental health concerns requiring hospitalizations, out of district placements, homelessness, truancy, legal issues, etc) that require more meetings and extra time.  It feels more manageable than the beginning of the year when I was up working at all hours of the night so far, so good.  

keeps getting crazier....

Someone who was looking at my Instagram mentioned to me the other day that they had read my most "recent" blog post. "Oh, that old post?" I felt like replying. It made me think about how much has happened since I logged in here and I felt like I should update.  I guess blogging has gone by the wayside as an uncool form of social media, but I have been blogging here for so long it feels weird to let it go altogether.

It has been a crazy month or so.  I did survive September.  One of my students with significant behavior concerns ended up being placed out of district, which I think was the best thing for him.  That took a lot off my plate.  We were also able to get another one of my students who wants to harm herself hospitalized, which was a huge relief for me.  I had literally been losing sleep over her situation.  So things at work are still rough, but improved from September when I was so discouraged that I had not been able to get a new job.

Another exciting piece of news is that I am expecting another baby!  Total surprise!  I had chalked up my late period, weight gain and total exhaustion to the craziness and stress of this school year.  I finally said to Ryan as I dozed off on the couch at like 6:30 one night, "I have not been this dead tired since I was pregnant with Hannah" and that was when things started to click. The Saturday the Pope was in town I took a pregnancy test to "rule that out" and spent the rest of the weekend in total shock.  Shock and terror continued as I went to the OB/GYN expecting them to give me a due date of, like, July, and was told my baby is coming mid-April as an ultrasound revealed a perfect little profile with a waving hand.   I pretty much missed the whole first trimester, so I have had to squeeze in some appointments for blood work and what not to make up for lost time. We will have the anatomy scan/gender reveal a week from tomorrow.

I feel pretty good (people's favorite thing to ask you when you are pregnant-- how are you feeling?).  We have had so much going on lately that I haven't even really had a chance to think about being pregnant, so I guess that is good; so different from my other two pregnancies where I obsessed over every little thing.  Once in a while when I am laying still at night, I can feel the little fluttery movements.  Anyways, I think that is part of the reason I didn't end up getting a new job.  It would have been awkward to start in a new district and then go out on maternity leave.  And now I only have to hang on until mid-April, instead of the end of June. We don't have any room in our house for another baby, or really any money to pay for him or her, but we are excited now.

The other big thing that happened is a lot of health concerns.  My mom was hospitalized for about a week after she became ill as she returned from a trip to Canada.  Then Ryan began to have stomach pain and digestive issues.  He left work early one day and went to the ER where he ended up being admitted for ten days.  Turns out he has ulcerative colitis. They also helped him acknowledge and begin to deal with the fact that he is diabetic.  It was so hard without him around-- I have always appreciated how hands on Ryan is as a dad and how much he helps out around the house, but I was reminded again of how well we work as a team when half of that team was missing for so long.  Thankfully, he was able to come home last Thursday.  He is still on a restricted diet and he has a visiting nurse checking in with him for the next few weeks, but he is definitely on the road to recovery.

Then, literally the day after Ryan returned home, I had Hannah with me at the grocery store as I was picking up a few food items.  Hannah has been fussy and refused to ride in the cart, only wanting to be held so I had her on my hip as I loaded our groceries onto the conveyor belt.  Suddenly she threw her head backwards.  I turned to her to scold her and saw that her eyes had rolled up into her head and that she was stiff and shaking.  I just began shouting out "My baby is having a seizure!  My baby is having a seizure!" and screaming hysterically.  A man came running over and urged me to put her on the floor.  I didn't want to but he helped me put her down and cradled her head as she continued to convulse and shake.  Suddenly a crowd had formed around me.  A lady in neon green pants crouched beside me rubbing my back and telling me that it would be okay.  The cashier in the lane next to me took out her cell phone and called 9-1-1.  She was asking me questions about Hannah and I could barely think straight to answer them ("How old is she?"  "What's your name?"), because I was so sure that I was going to watch my baby die right here on the floor of Pottstown Giant.  Another woman ran up, handed me a string of light blue rosary beads and told me to hold them against Hannah. Then she began praying and chanting in Spanish.  I continued to crouch over Hannah and wail as the manager of the grocery store tried to clear people away from me.

Finally Hannah's body relaxed and she opened her eyes and began to cry.  This was right as the EMT's arrived.  They took us both in an ambulance.  They put the siren on, which scared me because Hannah and I have actually ridden in an ambulance together before, when I started bleeding heavily after she was born and they didn't turn the siren on then.  They put an IV in her foot and took her vitals as we raced across town.  I called Ryan, but he didn't know what to do.  He was stuck at home with no car.  (We had to leave his car behind at the hospital because one of the medication he is on leaves him too dizzy to drive.)  He ended up calling our good friends the Hilberts who brought him to the ER and then eventually took us back to the grocery store to get my car.

When he got to the hospital, they discovered that Hannah had a fever of 104.5.  This high and sudden fever had caused the seizure, which the doctor assured me was nothing to be too concerned about. They gave her some Tylenol and let me hold her until her fever came down and then they sent us on our way.  She was groggy but her sweet self by the time we got her home.

Anyways, all of these scares has really made me so grateful so my own good health, for the fact that Ryan and I both have good jobs with paid time off and good health insurance, friends, family and ward members who helped with babysitting, offered to bring meals and helped with rides.  We are so fortunate.

hello

Oh, hey blog friends.


I have had this post in draft mode for probably six weeks.  I just can't seem to wrap it up.  Or add pictures.  And who wants to read a post with no pictures?







Summer was a whirlwind and is suddenly over and going back to school was harder this year than ever before.  I miss being with Hannah.  I am not excited about my assignment (massive understatement).  I interviewed for jobs that didn't pan out and I put in for an in-district transfer that didn't happen.  There were a lot of tears the first few days (from me, not from Hannah, she is doing great).  It's been really rough and I fantasize about putting in my notice and walking away forever on a daily basis.  This has been my hardest September yet: a caseload twice as big as other years, an onslaught of beginning of the year meetings and paperwork, parents requesting meetings, a student with significant behavior problems.  I have literally been working round the clock, but September is almost over, and things are starting to look up for October.  I am hopeful that Ryan will continue to do well at his job at Comcast and maybe someday I can work part-time or at a job that doesn't require so much of me. 










One major thing I haven't mentioned yet on the blog was that Hannah is now doing speech therapy two times a week.  I began to be concerned at the beginning of the summer because Hannah really only says a few words and she they are the same few words she has said since she started talking-- no new ones.  At her age she should have a large vocabulary of more than 50 words and combining words into phrases.  When I wrote out all of the words she said there were only five words on the list.  We are also seeing an increase in her tantrums and frustration as we are unable to understand or guess what she needs and wants. So I took her in for an evaluation and my suspicions that she is delayed were confirmed.  She is doing well at speech for the most part, but still prefers pointing, gesturing, dragging us around the house and signing as her primary means of communication rather than speaking.   They recommended 12 weeks of therapy and then looking at her progress, so I am anxious to see what her therapists recommend next. 




My sister and brother in law were in town for a visit and it was so fun to see them.  Ryan and I took a day off of work and joined them, my parents and quite a few members of Drew's family in D.C. for Jen's graduation. We all had a nice lunch as a family and then we went to the National Zoo.  It was a really great day to play hooky and have some nice family time.  It's always sad to say good-bye to Jenny as it will be such a long time until we see each other again.


Isaac has been busy with travel soccer again.  His team has had a few losses and a few ties but so far no wins which is discouraging.  Tonight he is being a "ball boy" at the high school jv and varsity soccer games.  He loves doing that.

and July is over..

Hello out there in blogland.  Do I even have any readers anymore?  Who knows.  It seems like the blogging community has really petered out the past few years.  I guess with Instagram and Facebook it is just an easier way to keep people updated.  Also a lot of the blogs I used to read regularly have either turned into giant advertisements (Beach Body!  Essential Oils!) or again just sort of faded away.  If anyone has any recommendations for honest, parenty blogs that don't fall into those two categories.  We have really been enjoying our summer and I haven't taken much time to sit down and update.  

Summer highlights so far include:

Putting our hair in pigtails!  Seriously, could there be a cuter hairstyle for a 18 month old?

Getting good use of our season tickets to Sesame Place.  We took all of Ryan's kids and we have gone back one more time.  Hannah's obsessed with Sesame Street but Isaac likes a lot of the rides too, especially the water park.

She actually was really excited to meet Murray despite the look on her face in this picture.

Her favorite.  She ran right to him to hug him.  It was ridiculously adorable.

Playdates and babysitting with friends.

Hannah and Alexander

We have been doing some shopping.  We have already started some Christmas shopping and did some back to school.

We all got a free dinner on Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-Fila.

Isaac has been doing stuff too, he is just resistant to having his picture taken.  He has done a bunch of sports camps which has kept him busy.  We both did the dentist yesterday-- NO CAVITIES!  He spends a lot of time roaming around the neighborhood with a big group of boys, riding bikes and playing cricket.  Soccer has started up again with twice a week practices.  He is in a wedding in a few weeks and my parents are taking him to Virginia to see his first real Shakespeare play.

We have been trying to limit screen time, do some cleaning and organizing and hauling stuff to Goodwill, keep Hannah on a decent sleep/nap schedule, listening to NPR

We still have quite a few things on our list left for summer and only a few weeks left until I have to head back to school.  

July!

Happy mid-July people.

It has been a whirlwind few weeks.

This school year finally came to an end.  This was my worst year ever as far as special education paperwork.  My best years I have arranged things to have no paperwork at all the whole last quarter of school, but this year I had meetings and paperwork due literally until the very last day of school. Yes, you read that right.  I had no choice but to schedule an IEP meeting on the last day.  Also, I had to pack all my stuff and move classrooms for the sixth time in seven years in the district.  I am keeping most of my kids for the third year in a row, so it didn't quite have the finality that the end of the school year usually does.

I have been applying to other districts and even had one interview.  I felt pretty confident leaving the interview, but I guess I was overly confident because I never heard back from them for a second interview.  The other day I got an email saying they decided to go with another candidate. Womp, womp.  I wasn't convinced it was the right position for me anyways but I have applied to at least 20 positions now and haven't heard back from anyone.  My mom and I did go shopping though and got me two incredible Ann Taylor suits, so when the opportunity for an interview comes, at least I will kill it in the fashion department.

Anyways, to add the the craziness of the end of the year we left for our roadtrip to Florida immediately.  Like, Ryan pulled up to the school with the packed up minivan and we started driving.  It was a little intense but better than our last roadtrip where we got on the road straight after my brother Tom's wedding.  I will write more about our Florida trip later.  Highlights including finally meeting my nephew Lucas:

Lots of relaxing pool time at the resort:

Hitting all four Disney Parks:

and lots of great family time with Ryan's siblings and parents.  It was a great trip, but it took a few days to recover from it.  It was a long car ride but the kids did great. 

The Fourth of July was a nice low key day.  Isaac was with his dad.  We took Hannah to the Pottstown Parade.  It rained off and on during the parade but really started pouring after it ended.  That derailed the plans we had for the rest of the day.  

The rain did let up in the evening and we did see some fireworks at the Reading Phils game.  Hannah watched for a few minutes but slept through most of the show.  Isaac saw several fireworks displays in Philly.

Now that we are home we have been working on things around the house (looking at new flooring and some updates in the kitchen), cooking and baking, sending Isaac to various sports camps, track club and soccer practices and having fun family times. I opted out of ESY summer school this year, so it is nice to have another summer entirely to spend with the kids.  My brother Joe met up with us and took Isaac Go Karting over the weekend.  Ryan and Isaac got to see a play in Lancaster and then we all had fun with my parents.   Summer is flying by.