stick a fork in me, I'm done

"I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control... Now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."

-- Mary He's Just Not That Into You

My favorite Christmas song. Enjoy! I'm blogging, because I'm procrastinating doing other boring things that need done. Like vacuuming. And cat boxes. And mopping. I went to the gym today though, and sometimes when I work out in the morning, I feel like that gives me a free pass to be a lazy ass the rest of the day. I was not feeling the workout, but I made myself go over, because, I mean, it's a wide open Saturday and Isaac is at his dad's. How I can I possibly NOT go? As always, convincing myself to go is pretty much the whole battle because once I get there I feel great and when I leave I wonder why I don't make myself go more often. So anyways, I'm on the treadmill and I'm running and in the zone with Pitbull blasting through my ipod and I was actually covering a decent amount of ground considering I haven't been working out regularly since August when this guy from the gym approaches me. I pop out one of my earbuds, thinking that maybe the treadmill is making, like a horrible noise that I am unaware and he is coming over to tell me. But noooooo, he's coming over to try to pitch his personal training session to me. That is one thing I hate about this gym. They are so aggressive in pushing their training packages on you. But I've never been approached mid-run with headphones in and I was livid and lit into the guy about how I come to work out in peace and not be harassed. It was ridiculous. I get mildly annoyed when they approach me on the way in or out of class, but it is to be expected. But don't come over to me and interrupt my workout. Too much. Anyways... Last night was payday Friday and i did a little shopping and then PDH came over and we watched a movie (I know, I know, I know). It was a mediocre time at best. I keep forgetting that we had very little in common when we were dating, and now we have even less in common. We really don't have very much to say to each other beyond idle chit chat which is just dumb and pointless. We wanted to go to the movies, but nothing playing looked interesting. So then we decided to rent a video. We rented Date Night (which was cute!). He was texting back and forth with a girl "friend" the whole time which he wouldn't share any details about, but he did say it was someone he loaned all of his Big Bang Theory DVD's to, which is what he did when we first started dating. Not that I was jealous. Honestly. I don't want to get back with him. It just further emphasized what a stupid idea it is to keep hanging around with him and how we are both moved on and uninvested in each other and made me so annoyed with myself that I have this fear of being alone in my house all weekend to the point that I am sitting there next to someone who is texting someone else all night. It's ridiculous. My DVD player died part way through the movie (it's been on it's last legs for about a year now but it finally gave up the ghost), so we had to finish the movie on the computer balancing my laptop awkwardly between us. After the movie was over he ended up getting kind of sick and then the last straw was as he was leaving he purposely kicked my cat. I pretty much slammed the door behind him. I think I put too much pressure on myself to have big plans on the weekends Isaac is away, and as a result I end up in situations like that. I wish I could be more comfortable being alone. In about three months or so when I begin to think back fondly on our good times together, someone please redirect me to this blog post.

Speaking of old habits that die hard, Isaac's dad just texted me but I did NOT give him the satisfaction of engaging. We always have the same old fight over him taking Isaac back to Africa (where he is from). It's a moot point really because he has no money or actual plans to go back to Africa anytime soon but it is something we feel very strongly about. I resisted the urge to tell him the only time Isaac will be going to Africa before the age of fifteen will be if I am cold and dead in my grave and simply said "If you wish to discuss this please call me". He won't. He hates talking on the phone, especially when he knows I am mad. But come on, I refuse to have an argument serious conversation over text. Get real.

Let's see. What else? Oh, Monday I took a sick day and finally had good old tooth 31 extracted. The one that has been causing me so much pain since the summertime. I woke up, got Isaac off to school, sat down and ate breakfast and then put my bowl in the sink before I remembered: I wasn't supposed to eat or drink anything in preparation for the anesthesia. Which is just so classic me, isn't it? I freaked out, because I had taken the day off of work, and mom had driven in from the Lanc to be my driver, etc. We went over and they gave me the choice of doing it awake or coming back later in the day. I chose to come back later in the day. I was grateful I could still have the procedure done that day and with no troubles. They gave me a script for Vicodin but I didn't even have to take any OTC drugs. I was in no pain at all. I wish I hadn't put it off for so long. Anyways, I'm glad that's pretty much done. I hope it's okay to leave a big gaping hole there for a while, because I am pretty much tapped out in the "unexpected medical expense" column of my budget.

I was reading Cosmo in bed this morning and there was this whole article about how I am already more than halfway through my peak biological time for having babies. Cosmo, I hate you: I count on you for fluffy mindless drivel and now I can't stop thinking about how by the time I will probably have another kid my eggs will be all old and shriveled up and useless. Thanks a lot.

Christmas cards and gifts are starting to trickle in, which I love! I mailed a big pile of our cards and I will be addressing the rest before the weekend is out. My own shopping is pretty well underway, but I haven't done any wrapping yet.

Anyways, I guess I should log off and go do something. Enjoy your weekend!

Time for another round of Online Profile DON'Ts, taken from actual profiles. Gotta love e-harmony.

• I am passionate about: puzzles. Hey, if that's your passion, I guess I shouldn't judge. I just can't imagine getting passionate about puzzles.
• I typically spend my leisure time: reading, going to 12 step meetings, playing frisby golf. Way to subtly work that in. I dunno, I feel like that is something you should reveal once you get to know a person. Yikes.

• I typically spend my leisure time: cosplaying.... AHHHHHHHHHH
• Things I can't live without are: Sports, Music, Chicken, Phone, Car Chicken? Seriously? You can't live without CHICKEN?! That just seems so random and bizarre.

• DON'T put in your online profile that you have never dated anyone ever before. That's just terrifying and doesn't make anyone want to click on your profile.

• DON'T post this as your picture. It's small but I think you can see that on each of the lenses of his glasses is the reflection of his laptop screen. That's the BEST picture you have to put up??

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” - Mary Anne Radmacher

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

-- Emily Dickinson

This has been a super productive weekend. My brother Joe asked me if he could pick Isaac up from school which was fine with me. When I came home he was doing my dishes and entertaining Isaac. What a welcome! We ended up getting in my car to head to Lowe's to pick up a few more strands of lights. When we were there we saw they had decent sized Christmas trees for only 19 bucks so we decided to get one too. We had taken my car instead of Joe's truck, but we managed to cram it in the trunk and then just drive along really slowly with the trunk door bouncing up and down. Fortunately, I live pretty close to Lowe's and we made it with no trouble. Joe put up the Isaac lights along my garage and above the front door. It looks great. He also helped me get the tree on the stand and put the lights on it. I will try to post some pictures soon. Isaac and I decorated it today and so far so good with the cats. They like to sleep underneath it on the soft velvety tree skirt but no attempts to climb it or take the ornaments off so far this year. I just have to figure out how to set timers on everything and then I'm set. Today we slept in (sort of, Isaac is never one for staying in bed for long) and lazed around for a while. We ran some errands, I met up with my mom for a bit and went to a Party-Lite party hosted by a coworker while I dropped Isaac to be babysat by my fabulous single mom pal. When I came to pick him up she had made me my very own pie pan full of fruit crisp. It is amazing and I have already eaten quite a bit of it. Once we were home we settled in and watched movies all day long while trimming the tree, cleaning, organizing, catching up on laundry, addressing Christmas cards, etc. I also finished about ten of these: My mom and I working on them together as an easy Christmas gift for all of the teachers, day care people, etc. who we want to remember for the holidays. I'm still debating putting Christmas fabric on the tops, but I feel like it might push it too far into the holly hobby relief society craft day look that I try to avoid. My house is still not entirely in order but it is getting there and I did cross off some household chores/projects that I have been putting off for a while. It feels good! On the dating front, I didn't blog about it much, but I dated a guy this summer. I wasn't sure where it would go, but it didn't end up lasting past the back-to-school/wedding fiasco that was late August. He said he just wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone (You know how it goes. Say it with me now : "it's not you, it's me, for real", [except he would never say for real]). Anyways, I confirmed, via internet stalking of course, that he is now "in a relationship" with a 20 year old undergrad of a local college. I'm not going to lie, it stung a little, but I supposed it's for the best. He never came out and said it ever, but I'm a girl with a bit of intimidating baggage who is looking to settle down, which I get is a lot to handle. If he isn't ready for that, then perhaps an adoring college coed in a completely opposite point in her life would be a better fit. At 29, I can't imagine dating someone who was still in middle school when I was graduating college who couldn't even go to a 21 and up concert with me, but hey, whatever floats your boat. In other news, we are having interesting discussions about Santa around here. I am fully preparing to be flamed but.....

I never told Isaac there was a real Santa or encouraged him to believe.

I still remember how betrayed I felt when I found out as a kid. When I thought about pushing Santa on Isaac, it just felt like lying. Sorry if that makes me the grinch but I can't tell my kid with a straight face that a man in a flying sleigh somehow made his way into our chimney-less house and filled his stocking. Anyways, we have talked about how Santa is a Christmas tradition and how some kids believe and other kids don't and that's okay. He has always been fine with that. Until this year, when he has taken it upon himself to adamantly believe despite what I say. When we were hanging up our stockings he wanted his to be closer to the door so Santa would fill it first. I reminded him that it is isn't Santa who fills the stockings, but he said "just in case.". Okay, I also reminded him that we would not even be home on Christmas Eve, that we took our stocking with us when we sleep over at grandma's. He has informed me several times since then that there is a Santa because all of the kids at school say there is and since I don't believe I will get no presents. I'm just leaving it alone for now. It is innocent and sweet and I don't want to entirely deprive him of suddenly wants to believe in so badly, even if it is a bit off putting to me.

Anyways, that's all for now. Enjoy your weekend.

Uhhh....

Isaac (after barging in on me in the bathroom): Mom, what are you doing? Me: I'm shaving my legs. Isaac: Ooooh, so women shave their legs and men shave their backs?