Do What You Have to Do

A song that makes you cry (or almost cry). Do What You Have to Do - Sarah McLachlan If I had to choose one song that encapsulates the experience of my pregnancy this would be it. For my entire pregnancy my plan was to adopt Isaac. Although that was my plan and my choice, it is a horrible conflict of doing what you feel is the best thing for your baby and not fully being able to understand how you will be able to go through with that. I don't think I will ever be able to hear this song and not be instantly transported to that time in my life.

It is interesting to note that Sarah McLachlan is adopted and has spoken about her experience and her support of open adoptions. So although I don't know if she has ever said for certain, I do think it is definitely possible that this song could actually be from the perspective of a birthmother.

What ravages of spirit Conjured this temptuous rage Created you a monster Broken by the rules of love And fate has led you through it You do what you have to do And fate has led you through it You do what you have to do ... And I have the sense to recognize that I don’t know how to let you go Every moment marked With apparitions of your soul I’m ever swiftly moving Trying to escape this desire The yearning to be near you I do what I have to do The yearning to be near you I do what I have to do But I have the sense to recognize That I don’t know how To let you go I don’t know how To let you go A glowing ember Burning hot Burning slow Deep within I’m shaken by the violence Of existing for only you I know I can’t be with you I do what I have to do I know I can’t be with you I do what I have to do And I have sense to recognize but I don’t know how to let you go I don’t know how to let you go I don’t know how to let you go

30 days...

A fanfic? No thanks.

How about another old school Isaac picture?

awww....

Non-Fiction

I just finished Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to fight Terrorism and Build Nations... One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. It seems a logical pick for today's topic of a non-fiction book.

It was a great read, although it took me quite a while to get through it. It is heavy on Pakastani and Afganistani geography, customs, etc., which sometimes slowed down the pace of reading. But at it's core, it's a book about one man who is changing the world by devoting himself to educating women in one of the wildest parts of the world. I have been pondering a lot this summer how one person can really make a difference and this book really helped provoke a lot of interesting introspection.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

"After attending a conference of development experts in Bangladesh, Mortenson decided CAI schools should educate students only up to the fifth grade and focus on increasing the enrollment of girls. 'Once you educate the boys, they tend to leave the village and go search for work in the cities,' explained Mortenson. 'But the girls stay home, become leaders in the community, and pass on what they've learned. If you really want to change a culture, to empower women, improve basic hygiene and health care, and fight high rates of infant mortality, the answer is to educate girls."

p.209 (emphasis added)

"In times of war, you often hear our leaders -- Christian, Jewish and Muslim-- saying, 'God is on our side.' But it isn't true. In war, God is on the side of the refugees, widows and orphans."

p. 239

"'I request America to look within our hearts,' Abbas continued, his voice straining with emotion, "and see that the great majority of us are not terrorists, but good and simple people. Our land is sticken with poverty because we are without education. But today, another candle of knowledge has been lit. In the name of Allah the Almighty, may it light our way out of the darkness we find ourselves in."

p. 257

"Mortenson urged Finley's readers not to lump all Muslim's together. The Afghan children flocking to refugee camps were victims, Mortenson argued, deserving of our sympathy.... The only way we can defeat terrorism is if people in this country where terrorists exist learn to love and respect Americans' Mortenson concluded, 'and if we can respect and love the people here. What's the difference between them becoming a productive local citizen or a terrorists? I think the key is education."

p. 258

"He likens Mortenson's returning to post 9/11 Pakistan, two months before Daniel Pearl's kidnapping and beheading, to New York City's firefighters rushing into the wounded World Trade Center. 'When Greg wins the Nobel Peace Prize, I hope the judges in Oslo point to that day,' Shimanski says. 'This guy Greg quietly, doggedly, heading back into a war zone to do battle with the real causes of terror is every bit as heroic as those fireman running up the stairs of those burning towers while everyone else was frantically trying to get out. "

p.273

fiction

I am assuming this means to review or recommend. Here are some fictional books I recommend that I have read in the past few years:

What do you recommend?

half icecream half human hybrids

Whatever Tickles Your Fancy: Click on Mrs. Scoop to go to Icecream People, a whole blog devoted to art of people who are made of icecream. For real!

a recent picture

I'm actually not in a ton of recent photos. It's generally just me and Isaac and I am obviously usually the one behind the camera. My family (parents, siblings, etc) rarely take pictures at gatherings and when we do, Isaac is usually the subject. Anyways, here we go:

This was taken last week. It is post-14 mile bike ride on a 100 degree day, so excuse the appearance. I also look especially chubby in this picture, especially my arms.

ANYWAYS.

I'm at my girlfriend's house and that is her darling baby who took my sunglasses off my head and put them on herself.

She is my little friend.

Life continues to be fabulous. Somehow despite having no official obligations I feel like my days are totally crammed and my house is a continuous mess. There's still so much fun to be had before schools starts again and we are totally making the most of it. I'm loving this summer.

How are things with you?

wish I could be more eloquent

Sometimes I sort of understand why young Mormon kids get married ASAP to the first person they click with; just to check themselves out of the insanity of the search.

Dating is emotionally exhausting.

Dating with a kid is emotionally exhausting.

Dating with everyone else's expectations and constant pressures is emotionally exhausting.

Dating someone with emotional baggage is exhausting.

Dealing with your own baggage while dating is exhausting. I'm taking my toe back out of the pool for a while...