never argue with a woman who reads

This is my friend Britney Although she is currently Sister Boyd serving a Mission in San Antonio Texas. When she was living in PA as a nanny we would often trade book recommendations. I was cleaning out my inbox and came across this forward she sent me a while back. Never Argue with a Woman. One morning, a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'For reading a book?' she replies, 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area!' he yells. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading!' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment.. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Great news!!!!

Coventry Soccer does an under six league in the spring!

I won't have to wait till September to get my fix of clueless preschoolers running in a herd around the ball!!!

(I think I might be more excited than Isaac)

2010

2010 Resolutions

(in no particular order)

• Ride my bike to work at least once
• Organize office, craft, sewing and scrapbook supplies and start using the office as a functional craft space
• Finish painting the rest of the house
• Make a loaf of bread from scratch
• Go one week without the internet
• Take at least one mural tour in Philly
• Fly a kite
• Scrapbook 3 pages a month
• Work out twice a week
• Start composting
• Take Isaac camping
• Drink 8 glasses of water a day
• Take a class on something hobby related
• Make progress towards getting my elementary certification (right now I am highly qualified in elementary ed, but it is more desirable to be dually certified)
• Floss daily
• Read three books before I head to the beach
• Eat more homemade meals and less frozen stuff and fast food
• Grow something edible and eat it
• Write a blog post when each of these is completed

Mormon Singletons

This blog post and this blog post (and really, the whole darn blog) is fabulous. Oh, this one too.

Showers are overrated

So is make up. And matching socks. Blah. Firstly, it was brought to my attention that I had somehow disabled comments. I think I fixed that. Sorry about that. Feel free to comment away. Today was one of those horrible days when you just want to throw in the towel and pull the covers over your head. Just one of those totally thankless days when all you do is for other people and you just want to scream "I'M RUNNING AWAY AND YOU CAN ALL DEAL WITH YOUR OWN PROBLEMS!" and you can't even get a shower without something horrible going awry. I woke up today to see another pile of puke and about six more of the mystery streaks that yesterday I assumed were urine streaks. Today I decided they were too brownish and streaky to be urine stains and I began to worry it was blood from Saffron's incision (she was just recently spayed). So I called the vet, loaded up Isaac, headed over to Banfield and found out... she is fine. Her incision looks great. I come home from the vet, do Chuck E Cheese with Isaac (which in case we've never met is my personal hell on earth. Especially on a Saturday). Then I come home and try to tackle the house I go down to the basement to move the laundry along and see another pile puke down there. I go to clean it up and I realize that this pile of puke has something weird in it and upon closer inspection and realize it is about five inches of skinny christmas ribbon. At this point I am concerned and I call the vet back. The vet is now closed for the weekend and they refered me to Metropolitian, a hospital. SO I call Metropolitian and they think it justifies coming in and they sound really concerned. So I load up Cody (who is miserable, howling and hissing) and Isaac (who was also rather miserable at the thought of sitting around a boring doctor's office for the second time in one day) and head out to Trooper. The doctor was very nice but they pretty much tell me that he probably has ribbon still inside him which is super dangerous and will probably cut his intestines all up. His abdomen is tender and swollen and he is dehydrated from all of the puking. There is no way to know for sure if he puked all the ribbon up without an x-ray (which even then the ribbon won't be visible but it will see if his gut is in the right shape) which runs around 745 bucks. Ideally they would like to open him up and make sure the ribbon is all the way out. This procedure runs about 2800 bucks. Yeah 2800 bucks. Obviously I had to decline. I have handraised Cody from the time he was a tiny baby on his way to the SPCA. I love him as much as anyone could ever love a cat. But that is an obscene amount of money and I absolutely cannot afford or justify it in any way. I opted for them to give him an IV of fluids to keep him hydrated and to take him home. If he keeps puking I will know the ribbon is still there. If he can keep from puking tomorrow I can offer him water and then eventually this super bland stomach friendly cat food they gave me. He did puke up some more stomach bile on the way home in the car. I'm terribly concerned. Oh and even this cost a pretty penny. I won't say how much, but let's just say it rhymes with rue-hundred dollars. Emergency pet medicine is not cheap my friends. In light of all of this, I felt like I should cancel my plans to go iceskating in the city with some girlfriends I haven't seen in forever, because I need to keep a close eye on Cody and monitor him for more puking, heavy breathing, etc. That was terribly disappointing, especially considering the way I have felt lately and the stars had actually aligned and I had a sitter and everything. So then I am upstairs scrubbing cat puke out of the carpet and Isaac decides he is too lazy to get up to go to the bathroom (the game was playing on the computer didn't have a pause option he later explained) and so he peed all over the kitchen floor. And didn't discover it until I stepped in it. And I flipped out. It was the absolute last straw of the day. And I spanked him which I rarely do. I felt terrible afterwards and we were both crying. Just no more bodily fluids please. Blah. I didn't even have a chance to get a shower today. Now I am sitting on the couch eating raw cookie dough (a gift from a student) and drinking diet coke (discovered an unopened can in my car when I was cleaning-- see, I'm sticking to the budget!) and savoring the History Channel because tomorrow the cable gets turned off. I cancelled my cable and landline. I love TV. I have never been one of those people that says snidely"Oh I don't even own a TV" or "I hate watching TV". I love it. Give me Bravo Reality shows. Give me medical oddities (I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant anyone?) Give me the History Channel. I love it all. But, even with my newly negotiated price it is still a total extra and still a want and not a need, and in my current financial state, I can't justify it any longer. It's part of being a grown up and being self reliant. This quote by Julie B Beck pretty much outlines my goals for the new year (and this past year too) Emphasis added: “‘Self-reliance means using all of our blessings from Heavenly Father to care for ourselves and our families and to find solutions for our own problems.’ Each of us has a responsibility to try to avoid problems before they happen and to learn to overcome challenges when they occur....How do we become self-reliant? We become self-reliant through obtaining sufficient knowledge, education, and literacy; by managing money and resources wisely, being spiritually strong, preparing for emergencies and eventualities, and by having physical health and social and emotional well-being.” (“The Welfare Responsibilities of the Relief Society President,” Basic Principles of Welfare and Self-Reliance [2009], 4-5). Self Reliance in 2010! Here I come! Without cable! Anyhow, onto THE LIST:

Figure out which library I am supposed to go to now since the closest library is in a different county. Check out books and movies for me and Isaac. Order camera cord from ebay Bring bags of donated clothes to Goodwill Finish putting away all Christmas decorations Make car appointment. Figure out how to pay for new tires/brakes. Organize downstairs coat closet. Tidy/organize garage.

Clean/vacuum car. <--- okay, so I still need to vacuum. I totally drove by the carwash and then decided it was just too bitterly cold. Maybe tomorrow...

Call student loan people. <--- not open on the weekend. Duh. Will call Monday

Get hair dye and go back to brunette. Once again, the highlights are going by the wayside in the name of cutting expenses.

Figure out how to clean the inside of the oven. <--- well I found out that I don't have a self cleaning button or anything. I guess I will have to buy some oven cleaner. Don't see this happenning before next weekend.

Go swimming at the Y with Isaac. <-- this got put on the back burner for today with all of the cat drama. Will try to go sometime this week. Maybe Tuesday.

Plan menu for the next few weeks.

Finish up Season 2 of Big Bang Theory and return. <--- finished this up. Will return next time I see my friend who loaned it to me.

Write out goals for the new year. <--- began this

Overall, it was a pretty productive week, although I didn't get to everything on my list. And there's still tomorrow for menu planning and goal writing.

What's new in your world?

To Do: Finish To Do List

I think I was crazy to think I could accomplish EXTRA things this week when the normal upkeep of the house (laundry, cat boxes, vacuuming, surfaces tidied, etc, etc, etc) seems to have quadrupled with us both being home all day. I'm downstairs trying to find homes for all of the new stuff we got for Christmas and he is upstairs dumping bins of toys and grinding cookies into the carpet. Bags of holiday things with no homes keep appearing. Christmas ornaments are still being discovered randomly all over my house. Used cups are multiplying on our nightstands and counters. In addition one of the cats inexplicably had three urine accidents in my room and then today I discovered a puddle of cat vomit behind the couch. Thanks for helping the cause guys... Lovely... For a while there this place looked like one load of laundry away from an episode of Hoarders.

Although I'm certainly enjoying my vacation (and I am definitely in no way prepared to return to work, but that's a whole 'nother incomplete to do list), there is something comforting about the regular routine of life. It is certainly easier to keep up the house when niether one of us are here to mess it up.

Anyhow, onto THE LIST (Not like any of you care, but it does sort of make me feel accountable):

Figure out which library I am supposed to go to now since the closest library is in a different county. Check out books and movies for me and Isaac. Order camera cord from ebay Bring bags of donated clothes to Goodwill Finish putting away all Christmas decorations Make car appointment. Figure out how to pay for new tires/brakes. Thanks to Tom the best brother in the whole wide world this is mostly done and for about as cheap as humanly possible. Big shout out to Carfagno Chevrolet who totally hooked me up. Organize downstairs coat closet. Tidy/organize garage. Clean/vacuum car. <--- started this one and it was horrible. When I moved his carseat out and found a graveyard of decomposing french fries and half melted crayons I pretty much started dry heaving. I can cross this off tomorrow when I go to a carwash to use a more powerful vacuum. The dustbuster wasn't cutting it. All of the random trash, toy wrappers, crayons, empty water bottles, Chuck E Cheese tokens, crumped up socks, wayward junk mail, etc have been removed so it shouldn't take long. Call student loan people. <--- not open on New Years. Duh. Get hair dye and go back to brunette. Once again, the highlights are going by the wayside in the name of cutting expenses. Sad but true; all of the little golden threads are gone. I'm back to my mousy natural self. >

(the circles in the above picture make me look like Uncle Fester's long lost cousin)

Figure out how to clean the inside of the oven.

Go swimming at the Y with Isaac. <-- discovered the Y is closed today. Will do tomorrow

Plan menu for the next few weeks.

Finish up Season 2 of Big Bang Theory and return.

Write out goals for the new year. <--- began this

It can't be true...

Blurry picture from the webcam but look what came in the mail: Isaac's invitation for kindergarten registration!!

I absolutely cannot believe my baby will be old enough to ride the bus and go to kindergarten in a few short months.

East Coventry Elementary, here we come!