Updates

So I have fallen off the wagon a bit with my pregnancy updates.  I did have Isaac snap the picture above to at least document the bump for posterity.  Fruit and veggie scale says baby is the size of a leek.  

I am feeling ready to be done with being pregnant.  I am to the point where everyone has something to say about it: I'm waddling.  I'm huge.  When am I due?  When am I due?  I look uncomfortable.  When am I due? Did I know I am waddling?  When am I due?  Am I sure I am not overdue?  Do I know I look ready to pop? I did carline duty up until the bitter end at school and some days it felt like every car would stop and comment on my pregnancy.

Also the other standard question: how are you feeling?  I never know how to answer that either.  What do people want to hear?  That I say a quick prayer every time I sneeze that I don't visibly pee my pants?  

I honestly feel a lot better compared to last time around.  I am not as swollen and uncomfortable.  I credit that to gaining less weight and seeing a chiropractor.  I think getting a few adjustments really helped me carry the extra weight better and decreased a lot of my lower back pain.  I can't recommend it enough.  Also I think just the fact that I am carrying this baby lower.  

My feet are a little swollen but they don't look like I should be driving Fred Flintstone's car around either (see last pregnancy).  I do feel soreish and tired and uncomfortable.  I'm not sleeping well at night but I'm falling asleep all day.  A few times a day she sits right on my sciatic nerve and a blindingly hot pain shoots down my leg.  Everything I eat gives me heartburn and I suffer from a terrible combination of flatulance and constipation.  When you have a nearly eight pound human you are sharing your body with, those things are to be expected. 

 I *am* having some random pelvic pressure and also sporadic contractions but no real signs of labor.  The nice thing about a scheduled c-section is the end is neat and tidy and approaching rapidly.  I don't have to sit around in misery wondering what needs to be done to evict baby (see first pregnancy).  So I guess physically I am doing all right.

Honestly the mental and emotional part is the hardest part for me right now.  I'm officially on maternity leave for now until the next twelve weeks with literally no acknowledgement from my job.  I know it's my second baby so I wasn't expecting a cake or a shower or anything but I thought they might have routed a card for me or said SOMETHING at the faculty breakfast we had on the morning of my last day.  I was surprised at how hurt I was by that.  I am nervous to be out of the classroom for so long with the expectation of returning and finishing out the year.  Part of me is nervous my sub will be a disaster and I will have a big mess to deal with upon my return.  But another part of me is worried she will do a great job and be so much more organized and on top of things that I will look bad when I return.  These are the crazy thoughts that keep me up at night.  Also it still hasn't sunk in really that I won't be heading back after break.  So lots of emotions about work floating around.

Anyways, now I am home and bored to tears but doing anything is exhausting.  Just carrying the groceries in from the car and putting them away after work on my last day took every ounce of strength I could muster.  Living in a terribly overcrowded three story townhouse and fighting against the entropy or our daily lives has left me in tears more than once this week.  I get a little spurt of energy and I manage to vacuum something or tackle the dishes and then I just collapse.

I feel like I need a lot of attention from Ryan right now, which is rather poor timing when your husband works retail in the holiday season.  I feel bad for him because he is spread so thin.  I think he worked 28 hours between Friday and Saturday and he headed back in today due to holiday sales and a fire in his building.  I know he is exhausted too and the last thing on his mind when he finally walks in the door is unloading the dishwasher or having another conversation about how you really can love your second child as much as you love your first.  But it doesn't exactly make you feel confident about navigating a major life change like a new baby when you see your spouse for about 20 waking minutes a day and your conversations mostly consist of which leftovers he is and isn't allowed to eat and how many clean work shirts are in the closet ready to wear.  He does his best though.  At work the other day he set the DVR to tape only the C-section episodes.  He keeps gas in my car.  He assembles things.  

Isaac is hanging in there.  That is another frequently asked question. I think he has mixed feelings about his new sister which is normal for a kid who has had me to himself for nine years.  He is doing a good job of keeping himself fed and busy since I am slacking in those departments.    He finally has made neighborhood friends and will often just roam the development until he finds someone to play with for an hour or two.  He is basically spending all next week with my parents, and I know he is excited about that.

Anyways, the car seat is installed.  The freezer is filled with ready to eat meals.  I have two packages of couch cushion sized maxi pads on deck for my return. All I need is a baby!