I had a call from the before and after school program Isaac attends. I braced myself for a report of an injury or a behavior problem from the site director. Instead it was the director of childcare. She was calling to report that during a basketball game that morning another (white) child became upset that he was losing and referred to Isaac and another (black) boy as "chocolate face". She assured me that they took this seriously, that they were talking to the other boy's parents, and that he had received a consequence. Although people have made racist remarks of various levels of offensiveness about Isaac to me or my family members, this is the first time that Isaac has been confronted with it.
All through Isaac's life I have tried hard to help him embrace all aspects of his heritage. When he was an infant, I researched a bought tons of books that featured interracial families and biracial children as characters. We have talked at length about how President Obama is just like Isaac-- his mother is white and his father is from Africa. Isaac attends cultural and religious events with his father (who is from Sierra Leone and is of the Muslim faith). Although his school is not as racially diverse as other nearby schools, he is far from being the only person of color in his class. We have talked about how children in his class may not understand why he is a different race than me, and talked about what he should say. I think I have done a great job of teaching him to have a positive self esteem about himself and each of his cultural identities, and to
How do I, as a white person, prepare my child for the prejudices and subtle but prevalent racism he will face, that I cannot even fully understand? I'm still not sure. But here are some good articles I found while researching the subject.
Talking to our children about racism and diversity
5 Tips for Talking About Racism to Kids
Preparing your Child for Racism
And while we are on the topic, my friend Leah posted this. Sometimes is is disconcerting when (usually well meaning) people gush over how much cuter mixed kids are. It feels weird Just because a child is more than one race doesn't mean they are any cuter than regular white or black kids. Interesting to see an article that validates that "icky" feeling.
If any of you have comments about this I would love to hear them.
1 comment:
My own kids surprise me with comments about skin color sometimes, especially since they have an African American Uncle and cousin. I've explained that comments about other people's skin color can make others feel bad. Was Isaac upset? I think the response should be in proportion to his feelings. It's very difficult to gauge real racial prejudice sometimes. I remember being harassed at a bus stop in Philly as a freshman by two men. My black friends got all upset because when I related the experience I mentioned the men were black. In their mind that made me racist. That really got under my skin, because I was labeled the bad guy for being a white girl who mentioned her harassers were black. I wish it wasn't such a sensitive topic for all involved.
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