I really want to find someone that I can date seriously.
It's hard to even admit it, because I really love my life and overall, I'm quite happy. I don't want to dismiss all of the great things that are in my life, because I am so focused on the one thing I don't have. I'm not depressed. I'm not desperate. But I'm lonely.
Old college boyfriend (WJM) and I occasionally frequently probably way more often than is healthy, find ourselves commiserating on a Saturday night over the bleak reality of the dating scene in your 30s. Anyways, he has suggested over and over that I need to have a hobby that is not related to work to meet more people organically (as opposed to something totally contrived, like an online dating site). WJM has tons of hobbies and is involved in so many different things. I know in his eyes I am a super boring homebody with nothing exciting in my life at all, which isn't a totally fair assessment. However, I've considered his advice a bit. I think I do have hobbies but the problem is they are all solitary ones, or girly ones. I like crafting, cardmaking and sewing.
I do social things: I like to go out dancing (with my married girlfriends to dance clubs in the Gayborhood... hmmm..), I'm in a book club (with coworkers), I spend a lot of time with friends (who are literally all married and engaged except for 2... seriously... I have *2* single girlfriends). I have friends in the city I see once or twice a month and local friends that I see frequently too, but I don't really have many opportunities to meet people beyond my existing circle of friends. I'm not the kind of person that can just approach a stranger in public. And don't suggest church activities. There is no one to meet at church. No exaggeration. For over a year I was in charge of the activities for local single people. There were only 3 guys that came regularly: one was 9 years younger than me and the other two had intellectual disabilities. The LDS social scene for a woman over 25 in the western Philadelphia suburbs is a barren wasteland.
Plus, when you are a mom, you're kids become your hobby. I love soccer, swim lessons, and spending time in the park, but those activities are hardly ideal for mixing and mingling with single men. And I don't even want to come off like I am complaining about that. For a mom, I think I get a considerable amount of "me time", especially compared to married moms with multiple kids. Isaac spends at least every other weekend with his dad. My mom comes in frequently to spend time with Isaac. If there is something I am desperate to do, I can usually arrange for a sitter without too much trouble. I make it to my book club most months, I can usually stop into after work happy hours/get togethers at least for a little to socialize with coworkers, I'm doing grad classes. Although Isaac isn't crazy about the kid's room at the gym, I can more often than not I can persuade him to go so I can squeeze in Zumba or a quick workout.
Anyways, I'm not trying to whine or complain. I'm not desperate, but I don't know what else to do. Anyone with serious suggestions, I am open to them.
2 comments:
Have you tried any for fun community education classes? They're usually cheap and relatively short, like one night a week for 4 weeks or so. I've taken a photography class and am going to sign up for a quilting class this spring. A photo class would for sure have guys in it; maybe even a cooking class? Or what about a dance class?
One of my good friends lived in the metro DC area for a while and they had a fabulous lds singles life. Most of them were well-educated, professional types. Maybe you could look into going down with a friend for some singles retreats or special activities? It's only a few hours' drive.
I just had this conversation with a co-worker I suggested stepping out of your comfort zone doing things you normally wouldn't do I mean why not whats to lose? I thought about joining a biking club this spring, I bought this expensive bike and I do like to ride so I figured why not. (I would love for us to hang out more)
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