Inspired Apple

Linky party over at The Inspired Apple (have I mentioned my obsession with teacher blogs? Maybe someday I will start my own.. you know... in my spare time...)

You know you do 1/2 autistic support when:

• You find yourself writing social stories about every bodily function you can dream of. (You think I'm kidding? My flashdrive has stories for nose-picking, farting, hands in the pants, why you wipe, why you shouldn't eat boogers, putting your pees and poops in the right place, etc, etc, etc.)
• You can never have enough 3X5 cards, ziploc bags, post-its, white board markers or timers.
• When you bring your own kid into your classroom he keeps exlaiming "Hey! This is *my* book/toy/sweatshirt/game".
• On a date you find yourself asking the one you are with to slide his bottom over a little and he looks at you in complete horror (true story)
• I saw this one on another blog and totally cracked up. Teachers in the hallway use a slightly different tone of voice when asking about a student referred to as only "your friend". My poor co-teacher this year has several "friends".
• Certain names will now forever be off limits for your own children. They just instantly conjure up images of a certain student, for better or for worse.
• You crack up daily at inventive spelling. (My favorite ever was the girl who wrote about "titty bars" which we later found out were "teddy bears").
• The very first day on the job your assistant says "Do you drink?" and when you reply no, she says "Well you may want to start."
• You find yourself discreetly sniffing students to try to figure out which one is making the room smell like old potatoes.
• You consult with your OT like 489758475 times a day. And when she takes a sick day, you feel lost.
• You keep M and M's and Hershey kisses in your desk drawer and delve into them aggressively when your students are at special. And when you randomly appear in coworkers' classrooms to ask them questions they immediately assume you are there to raid their stash.
• You have to field questions from kindergarteners asking if "you've got a man".
• The honor system snack box in the teacher's lounge is out of chocolate the day after the guy comes to restock it (and the gross peanut butter crackers sit lonely in the box for three more weeks).
• There are never enough pencils. No matter what. And you discover that your student has been sitting there doing nothing for ten minutes because the one he has isn't sharpened and doesn't have an eraser.
• Your students think you and your assistant live together.
• You reflexively answer, "I don't know, can you?" every time a student says "Can I go to the bathroom?"
• You cringe when you see adults forming letters by starting at the bottom or making other "mistakes". You have to bite your lip to keep from screaming "Magic C! Up like helicopter! Down and bump!"

But I love it!