here's another one

Sorry, I'm sure these are not interesting to anyone but me, but they make me laugh. That was such a different time in my life working full time, grad school full time, parenting a young child. Isaac is so easy and managable now. August 2007 So today I wake up. My clock reads 7:08. I completely panic, as I supposed to be at work at 7 and I am already in a bit of trouble with attendance, so I can't be late and I am pretty sure a new person will be in my house and I should be there to help them out, and now I will hit traffic so who knows when I will get in.... I call the overnight supervisor, frantically shout at him that I overslept but that I am on my way, and hang up before he can really respond while pulling on clothes and simultaneously brushing my teeth. I am running through a mental list of what I need to grab before I run out the door and I am like,okay, I have school today, I need to remember to grab my schoolbag. Then I remember, if I have school today, I must need to turn my final in, which I know I haven't done. Why haven't I done it??? OH BECAUSE TODAY IS SUNDAY. I call the overnight supervisor back and he is just laughing at me like, "Yeah Lisa, I will see you tomorrow, take your time coming in". I'm losing it people. I really am. This one was entitled "The saga of getting ready." From July of 2007. My mom must have been out of town. So I am trying to get ready to get out the door. Why is life with a toddler one step forward, two steps back? Here is the story of my morning: Open closet. Look for skirt. Put skirt on. Ponder shirt. Hear Isaac in bathroom (never a good thing!) He has found the bleach bottle I carelessly left on the counter and is spraying it on himself. I clean him up, get him distracted by brushing his teeth and set off to find the shirt. Can't find the shirt, but I slip on my shoes. He sees my shoes are on, and wants to put his shoes on too. I want to throw some sandals on him, but he insists on the nearly impossible to put on (though terribly stylish) camo hightops. Almost ten minutes lost jamming the darn things on him. I set him up with a movie, back to search for the shirt. Decide I look fat in the shirt. Glance in on Isaac. He has found my purse and is dumping the contents everywhere and his legs are somehow covered in magic marker. I take my wallet from him (I can't tell you how many times I have gone to pay for something or show ID only to have the card missing because he has gleefully dumped my wallet earlier that day). He starts to cry, hanging on me and trying to grab the wallet and then starts coughing like crazy. I decide to get him some cough medicine since he has been coughing all morning. Twenty minutes go by trying to persuade him to take it. Spray self (and Isaac, at his insistance) with perfume. Set him up in front of Youtube. Set off to look for specific flattering black shirt that may or may not be clean. Find shirt. Put it on. Ignore crashing sounds coming from Isaac's room. Brush hair. Isaac is comes in crying because "My shoes are too hard". Take shoes off him. Send him on his way. He returns a minute later because his "Yips hurt". Can't find any chapstick or clear lipgloss. Put pink lipgloss on him to appease him. Send him on his way. Make mental note to wipe off lipgloss before we get to Daddy's. Decide to attempt eyeliner. Line one eye. In the reflection in the mirror near a pile of discarded clothes on the floor I notice something suspicious. Is that? It can't be? When would it have happened? I almost can't even bring myself to look. Yes, confirm that there is a large chunk of poo sitting proudly on my white carpet. Ponder how and when the poo could have been left there without me noticing as I find paper towel (not hard, as the whole roll has been unwound on the bathroom floor when Isaac was brushing his teeth). Scoop up poop. Flush away. Clean floor. Enter Isaac with a pair of scissors in his hand "Mommy-- hair cut?" Take scissors away to the office and while passing by his room observe that earlier crashing noise was Isaac overturning his toybox everywhere. Hear bathtub water turning on and find Isaac giving his stuffed dog a "Baf!" Glance at self in the mirror. Realize only one eye is lined... Need I go on? Man I am exhausted. Thank God my mother is coming home today!