Sunday, November 1, 2009
Ugh
How long would you keep going to a ward where absolutely no one ever talked to you, or sat by you or made any effort to get to know you?
Where literally the only people who ever, ever even acknowledged you were in the Relief Society presidency?
Where you had never been home taught, or approached about having a calling?
If it was November first and you had been going since May, and had never even been greeted by someone in the Bishopric a single time, would you want to go back?
I'm really struggling to like the ward that I now have to attend...
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4 comments:
That sucks. It's hard to keep going to church when you feel that no one cares about you or if you go at all, to feel like you've fallen through the cracks and no one notices.
I've felt like this for a while and finally got up the courage to call my RS president and ask for a change in VTers - I specifically asked for someone who might care about me and actually maybe talk to me in church instead of avoiding me. This was a huge step for me (I try not to complain at church), but I've felt better ever since I did it. A while back I posted about much the same thing, and all the advice I got was basically, "you're right, probably no one notices you that much, and probably no one would be that sad if you disappeared. But you're there for you and your family, so don't give up and be proactive about getting the attention and love you need."
Be proactive and get a bishop's interview and tell him you want a calling. Tattle on your home teachers and ask for ones that will come faithfully. Throw yourself into visiting teaching. Instead of waiting for someone to sit by you, find the girl sitting by herself in RS and sit with her. I've done stuff like this the last couple weeks (coupled with acupuncture to get my head back on straight) and I've felt a lot more a part of things, even though others' behavior towards me hasn't changed. My attitude is changing my behavior and I'm happier for it.
(((HUGS))) I know how hard things can be when you feel invisible in a ward. Its even harder when you are single. Hang tough and remember you can always come visit old VF. We love and miss you!!
I think a little heart-to-heart with the RS pres would be worth a try. Normally, I'd think to approach the bishop first, but if the bishopric hasn't stepped up and you have had some positive vibes from the RS, I'd probably start there. Sorry you are in this situation. I think for the most part people in callings with responsibility like this want to do good, but are either just oblivious or don't want to be overbearing or have just gotten complacent.
Do you have a VT assignment yet? Any prospect of establishing some friendships there at all?
This happened to us in the ward we were in for the first 2 years of our marriage and I hated going to church it got to the point where we didn't really go and if we did we only went to sacrament. That only hurt us though. So when we moved out of that ward we know make it a point whenever we go into a new ward to get an interview with the bishop as soon as possible and ask to get a calling and it has really worked for the last 2 wards we have been in. Hope things get better.
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