"on a break"

Did any relationship ever go "on a break" before these two??

One of these days I will probably get in real trouble for oversharing on the internet...

But until then, I'll keep writing:

PDH and I had a talk earlier in the week and it became clear that I felt we were "broken up" while he feels that we are "on a break".

????

Confused? Yeah me too .

I don't really understand the difference but basically he wants "time and space" but he can't define time and space. Are we talking weeks? Months? He doesn't know.

Okay.

And what about space? Evidently talking (even daily) is okay, and hanging out (on his time table of course) is still okay. But he doesn't know how often that will be.

Okay....

So basically he wants things to be the same as they have been (at the end) except I can't complain that I am unhappy with things because "we're on a break" instead of "in a relationship". I can sit around and hope for a good night phone call, but I'm no longer entitled to expect one.

Oh and here's the real kicker. Being on a break evidently also means not dating other people.

So, yeah .........

...... that doesn't really work for me.

I mean, it's not like I have a line of eligible bachelor's waiting outside my door (I'm envisioning the blowing away nanny scene from Mary Poppins and then PDH descending from the sky holding small black umbrella...). Far from it.

But on the other hand, I'm not going to just twiddle my thumbs indefinitely stuck in some ambiguous relationship limbo while PDH tries to decide if he wants to be together or not. If it's not going to work out let's not keep dangling the hope of reconciliation. Let's cut our losses and start the whole process of "moving on".

So pretty much I am NOT a fan of "being on a break".

What the heck is the point? When I was aloof and unsure in the summer, he couldn't get enough of me. Now that I've committed and want to be with him in a REAL relationship, all of a sudden he needs time and space.

So we continue to be at at impasse.

I do continue to care about him. I think the things that strained our relationship the past month or so are things that could be improved with better communication on both of our parts.

BUT I continue to be unwilling to compromise on certain things (like actually hanging out together on more than a monthly basis). I'm not going to change the core of who I am and what I need from a partner.

I am willing to give him time and space if that's what he feels that he needs to evaluate from a distance.

But... I won't guarantee I will just be here sitting and waiting if/when he is ready for me.

So there you go.

Rocking out to the Black Eye Peas... Apple's got nothing on us...

Here's a few more for fun...

He totally struck this pouty pose with no prompting from me and even said that his "tie" made him feel "stylish"... (Someone's been watching too many Project Runway reruns with mommy on Saturday afternoons...) After this picture was taken he began to slather lotion on his face to make himself more "fabulous". =)

And of course the fur babies...

why??

Would you use a picture of yourself wearing socks with flip-flops as your default picture on a dating website? Gross..

Life soundtrack 2/25

I finally got one of those feed tracker things.

I had no idea there were so many people reading this blog.... Sheesh.

Sorry that, despite my frequent updates, I put such little effort into making it entertaining.

Apparently, you're still reading for whatever reason, so wow, I'm kind of flattered..

(Feel free to comment.)

So anyways,I feel really good today. Here's a few reasons why:

• I'm back in a routine. I crave and thrive on routine. The unexpected snow days and extra ridiculously long vacation were sort of fun, but it is nice to be back on track with the predictableness of life again. Being snowbound for more than 24 hours is just never a good thing for one's mental state. Thankfully, the snow is melting and all is back to normal.
• This post on motherhood from Leah. I didn't ask her permission first, so I hope it's okay to link up. I found her thoughts to be pretty insightful.
• I found my i-pod which has been lost for a few weeks (it was under the love seat in case you were interested). And I excercised tonight! I really need to excercise more because, man, endorphins make you just feel happy.
• Isaac and I actually had a playdate tonight which was lovely! I'm rather embarassed to admit that I can count the playdates Isaac has had in his whole lifetime on one hand, mostly due to my own anti-socialness. My very best friend growing up, the fabulous Kathleen, has recently moved back to the area with her three daughters. We met up at the big indoor playground at Pottstown McDonald's. Although Isaac was intially leery of hanging out with girls, he really hit it off with Kathleen's oldest. When we left he was like "I was thinking we should have them over to our place to play soon". I was thinking that same thing!
• Also, she and I agreed we would both love to do a babysitting swap. We haven't ironed out the details yet, but I'm pretty excited. It would be lovely to have someone I feel 100% comfortable with who lives only 15 mins away available to watch Isaac on occasion. And I would love to watch her girls so that she could recharge.
• I have recently learned of some pretty tough situations that some people in my life are just quietly and strongly dealing with. It makes me feel a little foolish for my catastrophic thinking over some pudge around my thighs, a fairly empty bank account and a little loneliness due to my geographic location. I mean, gosh, there are so many good things in my life to be grateful about and happy for. I make decent money at a job I really enjoy. I have health insurance. I have my own place. I have a reliable car. I have an awesome family.
• Also, I'm feeling pretty good about Isaac's dad right now. Over the years we've been all over the map, and I have been incredibly hard on him in some instances. But he has always supported Isaac and stood by him and has made a lot of sacrifices so that I could achieve my goals when Isaac was younger. I have to hand it to him also as far as Isaac's birthday is concerned, he totally planned a party for Isaac at Chuck E Cheese (a place I will rarely set foot in, especially on a Saturday) and came through with a bright red TWO WHEELER as a birthday present!

So things are good. I'm good.

And on that note, I will leave you with tonight's soundtrack from my life, courtesy of the fierce Mary J Blige...

Quick update

• I've never been a fan of crime type shows but can't stop watching Criminal Minds. Probably because it is so psychological. And they always start the next episode as soon as the first one is finished so you get sucked in watching episode after episode.

I want to be Garcia:

• I was social and went out with a friend Friday; King of Prussia Mall H&M, Urban Outfitters, and DSW = fantastic Friday. I oogled somethings in Urban Outfitters home section, but I didn't ultimately buy anything. Then we finished up our evening at California Pizza Kitchen. It was fun. While I was out with her she persuaded me to try out her adult gymnastics class. It's on Wednesdays which is the night mom sleeps over, so it would actually be doable. I am 98% certain I will feel ridiculous attempting the recreate the gymnastics moves I had perfected as a kid. I'm not sure how my chubby out of shape body will take to it, but she assures me there are all different ability/fitness levels, so I am willing to give it a try. I need some new things in my life and if it helps me be a tiny bit more physically active instead of laying around all day cooking under the laptop, that's a good thing, right?

• Speaking of physical activities I used to be into, my church is now offering a kickboxing class on Thursday nights. I would love to go to that as well since it's free and the teacher just recently had a baby, so I'm thinking it shouldn't be all people in spandex with rock hard abs. Swinging a sitter is the only thing, because in typical Relief Society style, they said to have your husband stay home to watch the kids. *Sigh*.

Back to school tomorrow....

Freakin best band ever...

Tonight's Theme Song: Time and Time Again from August and Everything After