Still alive... barely

I have survived my two weeks back at work. The long, cold days of hibernation during my maternity leave are officially over.  I am putting on real clothes, and packing a real lunch and going back to my real job.  And it's going all right.  Last week I was absolutely exhausted physically and emotionally overwhelmed.  Most of the days I got up with Hannah to feed her at 4 and then my mind started racing and I never fell back to sleep so by the time Friday rolled around I was in total zombie mode.  Thankfully I have gotten more sleep this week.  There were a few mishaps (a forgotten bus note for Isaac, misplaced car keys) but overall, things have been going fairly smoothly.  This week was definitely easier than last week, so hopefully that trend continues. 

The actual work part wasn't so bad-- my substitute was really good and stayed on top of everything very well, so it was an easy transition back in that sense.  So far things went well for Hannah staying with my mother and Ryan during the day also.  I miss her very much when I am away but I do feel good knowing that she is in great hands with my mom.  Bonus is my mom tends to bake cookies and other baked goods, which is always nice to come home to.

Ryan had an interview for a transfer to a store with his company that is much closer to home than the Center City location where he works now.  We are waiting to hear back.  I know he will miss the colorful characters of North Philly but it would be nice to have him spend more time at home and less time commuting.  

Isaac has been busy, busy busy.  He is playing Little League for the first time this spring and even though this is the soccer "off season", different soccer commitments keep popping up.  He ended up getting called to be a sub for a game in the winter league, since they were short a few players.  We brought Hannah along to cheer him on.

 

 Her first of (probably many) soccer games.  We declined an invitation to play in a travel league for spring since we are committed to baseball, but he is playing in a one day tournament, and he does have a few scrimmages.   He is still keeping up with Cub Scouts and viola and seems to have a lot of invitations for playdates, so he is always on the go.  He is having a football themed birthday party tomorrow, which should be really fun. 

 Last night he begged me to take him and Hannah to open swim at the YMCA. Ryan was working, so my initial reaction was "Ugh, not tonight" but I couldn't bring myself to say no without a good reason and so I agreed.  It took about 30 minutes for me to prep everything and get us out the door but it was actually relaxing and fun once we got there.  Hannah was unimpressed with the pool. Maybe because they only had large swim diapers and hers went about up to her armpits.

 

 She didn't fuss or cry but she didn't seem especially interested in splashing or water play.  We did watch Isaac go down the water slide over and over which was nostalgic.  When he was a toddler his favorite thing to do stand and to watch the big kids on the slide and now he is the big kid.  CRAZY.   He ended up having to retake his swim test and he passed with flying colors.  I really would like to get him back into swim lessons.  Maybe in the summer when we have more time.

 

 As usual, Isaac was super sweet with Hannah.  He pretended to be a shark and swam around her, gently splashed her and interacted with her.  Sometimes I am amazed at what fabulous kids I have been blessed with.  They really are the best.

Hannah continues to be the sweetest baby ever.  She is pretty reserved but she has a great smile she will flash, especially for Daddy.  She will look around the room for us and then grin when she spots us.

 

She is a pretty good sleeper and has had a few nights where she has only gotten up once, which has afforded me some longer stretches of heavenly sleep.  She also loves to sleep late (8:30 or 9:00) which is also a treat. Isaac used to be up for the day at 5 in the morning when he was that age. I always feel a bit sad when my alarm goes off at 6, knowing she will be sleeping for at least two more hours.  She is also my cuddle bug.  She is happiest in your arms, or in the Moby wrap and she will wiggle her body in to be closer and cuddlier.  She is starting to reach for things more and her movements seems more coordinated.

I am looking forward to a fun weekend.  I don't have much going on myself, besides shuttling Isaac to various commitments.  Happy spring!

no matter what they say

It's my last week of maternity leave.  I am in a bit of denial that next week I won't be spending the morning laying in bed watching Jimmy Fallon on the DVR and taking impromptu tandem naps with this pretty girl.  

I am linking up with Agi for her I am Beautiful link up where she has challenged us to post a make-up less picture.  My waistline may be a bit rounder, but that is from carrying this little girl under my heart for nine months.  I have bags under my eyes from the twice a night feedings.  My skin is ridiculously dry and that stubborn patch of excema by my eye has flared up again.  My outfits may be spit up stained but I am embracing life with my newborn and being kind to myself about my appearance at this point.  There is no reason I can't be on the other side of the camera once in a while and why I can't feel beautiful in this sleep deprived season of my life.

I am still not feeling my best (emotionally) about returning.  I did schedule my first haircut in over a year for Saturday (a nice trial run for Ryan to watch Hannah for the morning before they are on their own for two full days Monday and Tuesday).  I also bought a few looser fitting tops to help transition back to my work wardrobe.  It won't make up for my sadness at leaving Hannah for the day but at least I will be confident that I am looking my best.  

Happy Thursday!

call me julia

One of the things on my goal list was to take a cooking class with Ryan.  I signed us up for a French cooking class as a Christmas present but we waited until now because I was anxious about leaving the baby.  It actually worked out since it fell only a few days after our wedding anniversary so it was nice to have a real date.  The class was at Sur La Table in the Court at King of Prussia. All of the other participants were older women and of course they all loved Ryan.

We made a frisée salad with poached eggs and lardons which was salad of somewhat bitter greens with a hot bacon vinaigrette.  So basically bacon and eggs on a salad.  Neither Ryan nor I had ever poached an egg before.  The salad was amazing and really not hard at all to make.

The main dish was Coq au Vin which was basically chicken and vegetables cooked in a red wine sauce in a Dutch oven.  The side was Haricot Vert (French green beans) with grainy mustard sauce.  Both of these foods were AMAZING.  

We forgot to take a picture of dessert which was an apple clafouti.  It was sort of a cross between an apple crepe and an apple custard.  That was Ryan's favorite part of the meal and he is so not a dessert person.  I will definitely make the dessert again.

It was a fun date night and a chance to try some foods we might not have tried before.  

Old Ladies

I stopped at Wegman's to buy a few essentials to get us through the latest storm.  As I am pushing the cart around a tiny old lady with hot pink lipstick spotted the infant carrier in the cart and exclaims, "Oh! A baby!  Can I see her?"

I agreed and proudly angled the cart so that she had a view of this sweet face. 

"How old?" she asks as I swing the cart.

"Two months."

"Look at those eyes.  She can really see."

"Yes, she can."

The woman really peers at Hannah and then says, "This is your baby?"

"Uh, yes."

"Her dad must be really dark then."

Sigh.  "Yes, she is biracial."

"Well, it's probably better for her to have a variety of genes."

??? Isaac and I have such different complextions I am used to people beig confused or making comments but this exchange was just bizarre.

Ups and Downs

Things have been getting slowly better.  Items are starting to get crossed off my to do list, I have been able to keep the house within acceptable levels of cleanliness and I have just felt better equipped to deal with everything. Hannah is still not sleeping "through the night" but she is sleeping longer stretches than a few weeks ago and so that has helped a little bit of the postpartum fog lift.  I also had my follow up appointment with the ob last week and we started some pills that have already helped me get my hormones and emotions a bit more on track.

We have all been varying degrees of sick around here.  Hannah and I were spared the worst of it, but poor Ryan has been quite miserable for a few days now.   I did force him to eat a few bites of the top layer of our wedding cake.  

Sunday was our one year wedding anniversary.  It has not always been the easiest year, but it has been a good one. Ryan is a good husband, stepdad and father and I am lucky to have him in my life.  

I officially moved my "return to work" date up two weeks.  HR looked at me like

I was crazy when I met with them. I think I am probably the only person to ever request to end an approved leave early.  I had to meet with the head of HR and get special permission to return to my own job which was a bit weird.  I am really sad to have to leave Hannah earlier than planned but it will be good for us to get back to two full salaries.  I went to take Hannah to visit the kids the other day and it actually helped me feel a bit more excited about my return.  I do enjoy many things about my job and it was good to be reminded of those things.

Today was supposed to be our big Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet.  As a Den leader I was heading over early to set up.  Ryan, as the Cub Master, was going to go straight there from work.  I woke the baby up from her nap, and managed to convince Isaac to put on jeans only to find that my van had a puddle of mysterious liquid under it and no power steering.  So we never managed to leave the house today.  I had the van towed to my brother's garage am skeeping my fingers crossed that the repairs won't be too expensive.  

Happy Wednesday!

SIA and a Baby Shower

I have drafted a few posts but I haven't managed to get anything posted recently. I have been busy and Miss Hannah has been hit or miss with sleep at night.  Plus everyone at our house has been sick which has contributed to the craziness.  

Anyways, I did put together an outfit for Style Imitates Art.

Here is the inspiration piece, a Vermeer:

And here was my take on the painting:

Scarf: South Moon Under, shirt and khakis: Old Navy, shoes: boutique in University City.

Click here to see other outfits inspired by the painting.

I wore that outfit to a little double baby shower thrown for me and Miss Hannah and another mom and baby Asher.   It was really lovely and we were showered with adorable outfits and lots of diapers and wipes by the women of our church congregation.

Hannah was a little doll at the party but by the time I went to take a picture of her outfit after we returned home she was about out of patience for a photo session.

More tomorrow hopefully.  :)

Happy Birthday Isaac!

It's hard to believe that my sweet baby boy turns nine today!  It seems like I blinked and he is all grown up.

Isaac has always had a special relationship with his uncles and aunt.  My sister commented last time she was home how fun he has become.  He has a large vocabulary, an observant nature and a sharp wit which makes the time we spend together truly enjoyable.

Isaac is always up for playing or watching any sport.  His favorite sports to play are soccer and football, although he is trying Little League this spring.  He is eagerly awaiting spring when my dad can install the new basketball hoop.  He remains a 

devoted wrestling fan.

Isaac is a technology whiz.  I count on him to help me work the TV, make sense of all of our remotes and troubleshoot issues with my phone.

He is a math whiz but his favorite class is gym.  He has faithfully practiced his viola every day this year.  He was thrilled to earn his "cursive license".  His nose is often in a book. 

Isaac has a photographic memory.  I can always count on him to remember where I park the car.  He also loves commercials and easily memorizes and recites them. 

Isaac is such a good helper.  Everyone wants to know how Isaac has adjusted to being ousted from his position of "only child".  I am pleased to report he has done great.  He had become a lot more self reliant and responsible for his own things.  He has become a young man overnight.

He is the sweetest big brother.  He always wants to hold his sister and interact with her.  He tries (and often succeeds!) with calming Hannah when she is fussy.  Although she doesn't give him a whole lot in return, he never gives up thinking of ways to entertain her.  He set up an entire "Baby Olympics" for Hannah including events such as baby luge, baby bobsled, baby ice dancing and (my personal favorite) baby curling.

I couldn't be prouder of the young man he has become.  I love you Isaac Matthew!  Happy 9th birthday!