Wordless Wednesday - Parking Lot

Bring it to the table, bring what I am able

Firstly, in the spirit of fairness, I should feel like I should disclose that Isaac's dad DID show up yesterday after work. And I gave them some ideas on what to do to entertain themselves and then went upstairs and did my own thing, instead of lingering around trying to facilitate interactions. So that was good.

Secondly, what the heck is going on with Blogger? The spacing and formatting keys have been messed up for weeks now. Spell checker doesn't work. What the heck?! I'm getting tired of formatting everything myself with html. Get your act together Blogger!!!!

Anyways, onto what I really want to talk about. After watching The Human Experience, I was feeling really bummed. I was so inspired to, like, go to Calcutta and work amongst the impoverished. I was feeling rather discouraged because I'm not someone, like my sister, that gets called on to drop everything and go to places like North Carolina, and just get busy serving humanity where there is a huge need. I want to do something service oriented that feels really important.

Anyways, yesterday was the culmination of the a big food drive I helped organize at church for the North Coventry Food Bank. We met to load up everything and bring it all over to the pantry. There is a couple who is called to work with the YSAs and he is a night manager for Target. He arranged for Target to donate all of their damaged stuff from the month of April to the pantry. I expected a few ripped boxes of trash bags and maybe a couple of cases of toilet paper. He showed up with a *huge* truck load of diapers, paper towels, sandwich bags, laundry detergent, baby wipes, and cleaning supplies. This was in addition to the food that we had been able to collect from the congregation. We met the lady at the food pantry and unloaded it all.

I had spoken with her on a phone a few times to make arrangements but I didn't know where the pantry was. Turns out, it is less than 3 minutes away from where I live-- just a little storage room in the basement of the township building. She was so appreciative and sweet. She said that they never get significant donations this time of year and that she was overwhelmed by the amount that we had brought her.

Times are tough for everyone, and money is always tight for me. My budget is so tight that any unexpected expense feels like an emergency. But I have so much to be grateful for. I have never had a situation where I didn't have food to eat or put on the table for Isaac. I also have a supportive family who I know I could turn to if my financial situation ever became truly dire. It was very humbling to think that there are 90 families in my immediate area who depend on the foodbank to get by. The whole experience reminded me of a quote I heard once by C.S. Lewis. I tried to find it to share it exactly, but I can't find it. Anyways, it was essentially saying that one of the tricks of the devil is to let you think that you can only be effective if you are providing relief to people across the world, and thus you ignore the needs of people right under your own nose-- pretty much my exact attitude.

Not to toot my own horn here (too much) but I guess it was just a nice little affirmation. I may not be able to volunteer in an orphanage in Ghana like my sister, but I *can* do things that are important to people who live right around me. I organized an effort that filled up the food pantry that is right in my own backyard. That food might end up on the tables of kids in Isaac's class. Hopefully in the summer when my schedule open's up a bit more I can devote some more time to helping out there or at the Cluster of Religious Communities in Pottstown. It's so easy to get trapped in that self centered mindset of "me, me, me". I really want to make a concerted effort to try to focus on others' needs.

Anyways, that's all for now. Spring break is over and back to the grind of the school year. I just need to push on a little longer until June.

LOVED this

Last night I watched another documentary on Netflix, this one called "The Human Experience". It was a film about two brothers who had rough upbringings in New York City, who are trying to find the answers to life's fundamental questions "Who am I?" "Why am I here?" "Why is there suffering?" "What common threads of humanity link us together across cultures, race, and zip codes".

They spend a week in New York City in February living among the homeless. They spend time with the lost children in Peru (a segment I don't think any person could make it through without bawling) and then the film ends with them visiting a leper colony in Ghana. In between there is really uplifting and inspiring commentary by priests, rabbis, philosophers and humanitarians. The film also has plenty of happy joyful moments that provide a nice balance to all of the suffering that is shown.

The trailer kind of takes makes it look over the top cheesey, but it wasn't cheesey, it was so inspiring!

Definitely, definitely recommend.

RANT

This is the perfect illustration of why me and Isaac's dad cannot communicate.

Last night Isaac's dad texted me (at 12:30 at NIGHT mind you) that he was going to come over for Easter. I told him okay but that I wouldn't hold my breath he would actually show up. He got all huffy like "I hate when you say that." Today I text him to find out if he is still planning on coming. He responds, yes he will be there at 4. I let him know that won't work, that my mom is serving dinner at 4 (an hour away). I let him know we will be home at 7 and he responds "Okay."

.............................................

What would your interpretation of that conversation mean?

Cause I interpreted it to mean "Okay, I will come at 7." And I rushed us out of my parents house to get us home in time, and spent the whole car ride trying to brainstorm things Isaac and his dad could do, (amidst protests from Isaac that "my dad and I don't really play together. I just play by myself at his house."). It's always rather awkward when he comes over unless we are going to a soccer game or something. He generally just sits there flipping through his phone while I try to force them to engage in activities together.

We arrive home at 10 of 7.

7:10 I start to get annoyed but give him the benefit of the doubt because it is raining cats and dogs.

7:20 I call. Sends me to voicemail. I text him "Are you almost here?". He responds "No, it's too late." At this point I am LIVID and I just start calling him repeatedly. I HATE when someone won't pick up the phone but then texts you back. MAN UP. Answer the phone.

Finally he answers and says he never said he was coming. We rehash the whole thing and I am loathe to admit that he is technically right. He will come now if I want but it will be pushing nine when he gets here and what will be the point of that? The conversation ended with him claiming he is coming tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath and I told him this which he doesn't understand. (Hello, in the past month ALONE you are 0/2 on showing up for anything besides your regular visitation!!!)... When he is little he didn't understand but Isaac is to the age where he realizes "Hey, Daddy said he was coming and then he didn't show up." And I go into insane momma bear mode because I want to shield Isaac from any hurt but the worst part is Isaac doesn't even feel hurt. Confused maybe, but mostly indifferent. Which is almost worse. I feel like this is the kind of stuff is going to relating to a shrink when he is 20. His dad wants to have talks about the distance he feels culturally from Isaac because Isaac has my last name (which, according to him, is akin to blasphemy in his culture). HOW ABOUT THE DISTANCE YOU CREATE BY PUTTING YOUR KID LAST ALL THE TIME??? Behind the third cousins who all of a sudden needs him? Behind the high price of gas? Behind the last minute trips to NYC? And why can hebe so attentive and caring with horrible, violent kids at his work and so withdrawn from his own child?

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm addicted want to jump inside your love

I think I need to do something to shake up my own life.

It's spring BREAK for crying out loud and I can barely come up with anything interesting to blog about.
But... I can't stop listening to this song: And I'm not usually a big fan of those guys.

So let's see... that's music. I've been on a big documentary kick lately. Netflix has so many great ones available instantly. I think Netflix is the best 10 dollars a month I spend. At least, if I am going to continue to be as anti-social as I have been lately. Neflix has informed me that I like "cerebral" documentaries. Here's what I've seen lately:

* Very Young Girls - which is about human trafficking in the United States. Not super uplifting as you can imagine, but pretty crazy to think about. When you think of girls being forced into prostitution, you think about young girls in Thailand but it happens in the US all the time. In the US, the average age a girl is caught up in that life is 13. Very disturbing, but informative.

* Exit Through the Gift Shop - all about street art. Really good. Highly recommend.

* Confessions of a Superhero - this one was just okay. It's about 4 people who dress up as characters on Hollywood Blvd. (I've never been to Hollywood Blvd, but they do the same thing in NYC, basically panhandling in exchange for a picture). It was a little too long and the camera work kind of made me sick to my stomach in some scenes.

* Easy A - that one wasn't a documentary, but I really liked it. The writing was very clever. It was sort of a modern take on The Scarlet Letter, a book I am actually pretty familiar with. I had it as a summer reading book the summer before my senior year. I bought the Cliff's Notes and had absolutely no intention of reading it. My mom was not having that though and she would corner me daily and make me lay on the couch while she read me a chapter of it. It's not like, one of my top favorite books or anything, but I am happy that we did read it.

* In the spirit of full disclosure, I have also watching at 22 episodes of Glee that are available. This is very hypocritical after all of the smack I have talked on Glee. I still maintain it is an overrated show with pretty bad acting and ridiculous plot lines. Honestly, I fast forward a lot of the musical scenes because they are just so dumb. Anyways, I have been suckered into a few of the plot lines, so last Saturday after Isaac went to his dad's I sat on the couch and finished off all of the episodes.

Still in my queue: Freakonomics, The Business of Being Born and Tupac and Biggie. Also, I have had Waiting for Superman on my counter for more than a month, but I can't make myself watch it just yet. I'm at about my limit for criticisms of teachers for the time being.

That's all for now. Happy Easter!

Gym fail

So I ate it on the treadmill today.

I stepped off to retrieve the cap to my water bottle and without thinking stepped right back on. Not unlike this guy:

The gym was full of senior citizens and I think I gave them a good laugh. =)

we hate the Lakers... bottom line

E-mail to my friend:

Tonight he declared his favorite basketball player to be Kobe Bryant. I don't know where I went wrong as a parent.....

Friend's response:

I wouldn't worry about it - he's young. However, if he's still a Bryant fan by the time he reaches the age of reason - consider your parenting a complete failure.