weird

OKay. I remember my mom reading this book to me when I was young.

But I have never read it to Issy.

Why?

Because I think it's a little creepy. Especially the part at around 6:44 when she climibing into her son's room with a ladder.

anyone know?

Is there a way to upload photos directly to blogger that you take on your cellphone? Just wondering.

random work thoughts

Today at work one of my coworkers randomly said to "You are appreciated. Don't think you're not. I say it all the time."

I was so caught off guard.

Because, well, let's face it, teaching special ed in a high poverty area isn't exactly a job where people are showering you with praise or recognizing all the things you do. It's sad when it's actually jarring that someone tells you that you are doing an okay job and that they appreciate you. I guess this is partially because I think the loudest negative voice is my own. I have an unfortunate habit of looking at the best version of other people and comparing it to the worst version of myself. It's an inaccurate measuring stick.

I need to work on that.

And I need to make more of an effort to tell my coworkers that they are appreciated. And my students. And my family.

another friend takes the plunge

Whew! I just returned from the Jersey beach (it was sort of Mid-Jersey [Monmouth area] so I don't think it qualifies for the term Jersey Shore, which is a South Jersey thing). My randomly assigned freshman year roommate/good friend was getting married and it was a lovely ceremony and a very fun time. It was the first time I have been a ceremony actually on the beach. It's always such a contrast to go to a non-LDS wedding when you are used to culture hall receptions and 6 week long engagements. By any standards, it was a very elegant and lovely wedding. Here's their wedding announcement.

I did what I love to do at weddings: ate good food and danced like crazy. They had a great live band and everyone was getting down, old and young. Nicole had provided flip flops for everyone to wear during the ceremony and they came in handy for dancing as well. Leopard print stilettos are good for looks but not for long haul. Good times.

Of course, because it's me, I got nailed on my way down for talking on my cellphone and driving. I got off with a warning but still ended up with a parking ticket before the weekend was over. I left my car overnight near the beach where the ceremony was held and evidently there is no parking between 3 am and 5am. Oops. They didn't even give me a ticket, just a notice telling me when my courtdate is, so I'm going to have to call tomorrow and try to get that straightened out. This is my life.

So this should be my last "big thing" for a while. I'm looking forward to some weekends at home. What did you do this weekend?

more fun candids

Most of these were taken by my Uncle Darsono..

Waiting....

And waiting.... How cute are my mom and her sister with their grandsons?

We were instructed by the photographer to show some leg. Um... no.

And this about summed up his attitude for most of the time after they came out of the temple. He would hardly be in any pictures. (Also, he refused to wear black socks because they are "so ugly". But you couldn't tell when he was standing.)

He wouldn't look up at the camera.

No matter how much I tried to coax.

This is how he spent most of the time during the wedding party photographing.

This picture cracks me up. Clearly we are dancing with each other but we are both staring off into different directions.

This was during the recieving line (slightly out of order here, sorry).

My bestest friend.

My folks can get down.

Tom was cutting a rug too.

warning: If you see me IRL I may rip your head off

Ugh. PMS + lack of sleep + too much work + overwhelming mommy guilt has turned me into a rather miserable person the past few days. I'm fairly sure even my own parents are screening their calls from me at this point. I'm only one person who is just spread too thin. I fell asleep face down on the couch for 30 minutes today at around 7 o'clock. So much for Zumba. I just can't make it. Anyways, Isaac's dad just got screamed at for insinuating that I wasn't putting forth an effort to get Isaac into a fall soccer program (backstory, I totally dropped the ball on sign-ups for his normal league, and it is too late for him to play. I have been scouring the internet, making phone calls etc, but everything is full, is for toddlers or is waaaaaaaaaaay too expensive. Now his dad wants me to go over to the fields of his old league and just linger around asking people if he can play. I'm not going to do that. I feel HORRIBLE about missing sign ups but when it really comes down to it, he will play in the spring and if he misses one season of soccer is it really the end of the world? No, it is not.). Anyways, I ended up just straight up psychotically screamed at him about how come it's always up to me to figure this stuff out and he could just drive over here and linger around the soccer fields like a creeper if it's so freakin important to him and it's so easy for him to be critical when I am the one that does 98% of the parenting. He was being nagging and irritating, that was certainly not an appropriate response. He even said to me "If I was screaming at you the way you are talking to me how would you feel?" and I had to admit I would hang up on him.

My cavity is killing me. I MUST call and schedule my root canal I have been in denial about needing all summer now. It is to the point where the entire side of my head is radiating pain almost all of the time, which is certainly not helping my irritability. Tomorrow is back to school night (for me as a teacher, not me as a parent). 13 hours of work. Ugh, enough said.

I haven't seen my friends or done anything social in several weeks due to wedding mania. This weekend I will be out of town again for my old college roommate Nicole's wedding in New York. That puts me out of town something like 5 out of the last 6 weekends.

I'm out of cat food.

My sink is filled with dishes and I am always out of clean spoons.

I have nothing creative to pack for lunch.

And poor Isaac. What I really need to do is slow down and make time to give him my complete and undivided attention. To stop hurrying him along rushing him in and out of clothes and in and out of the car and shuffling him from babysitter to babysitter. It's too much.

Anyways, I will end the whine-fest now. I'm going to forget the pile of work I brought home with me and just go to bed early. Yes my life is an out of control carousel but everything is harder to deal with when you are exhausted and lonely.

shocker

So today at church the bishop's counselor pulls me aside and asks to talk to me. Of course, he wants to give me a calling. It might be nice to have one, since I have been in the ward for about a year and a half now. I have had almost every calling in the RS except president so I was thinking maybe something in there. Part of me was expecting something in the primary since I teach elementary school, and since our primary has several children with autism.

Guess what they asked me to do?

Young Single Adult rep.

First of all, I don't even know what that calling really is. All I knew was that I had to clarify that it was definitely the YOUNG singles. I'm having no part of Single Adult activities. I did accept of course. Maybe it is just my ridiculous cynicism, but I feel like this is yet another validation that I will never have any kind of identity at church beyond "unmarried". It's frustrating.