Photo that makes you angry/sad

These were pictures from when my old job, where I worked with kids with autism and severe behavior problems. It's sad of course, because the student who inflicted these on me (and yes, those are exactly what they look like, individual finger marks as a result of being grabbed and squeezed) was in such complete crisis, which is terribly hard to deal with. Behavioral meltdowns are a crisis and are exhausting mentally, physically and emotionally for everyone involved.

It also is a stressful time personally for me because my particular job description at that point in my career at this school was to help de-escalate kids in crisis, and it seemed like there were constantly kids in crisis. This really took it's toll on me day after day and was very hard to deal with. In addition to working full time at a physically demanding and stressful job, I was in grad school full time, running around constantly, getting very little sleep and not seeing my baby for long stretches. It was a hard time in my life. In the end, it was worth it and I did what I had to do to finish school and get where I am today. I don't remember tomorrow's topic, but hopefully it is more cheerful.

oh and I can still have it all...

Can this just be my themesong for the next little bit? (Overbearing/well meaning ward members, I'm looking at you)....

Today's Post: Photos that make me happy

Babies make me happy. In particular, my baby. These are some old ones of Isaac that people who only read this blog might not have seen. Or, for those of you who followed me over on the old myspace blog, some flashbacks. Playing around in my make-up....

An old one of Isaac and my brother Tom. I *LOVE* this one... His dad never lets his hair get curly anymore... (and don't I look super young? and frighteningly pale?) First smile caught on film

Tiny baby? Or massive cat? Or BOTH! (Isaac is less than a month in this pic with my parents old cat Danielle)

"that really hurt"

Day 6 - Whatever tickles your fancy I dunno if I will *EVER* get tired of this one.

I'm just going to say it.

NEWSFLASH

No one outside of Utah cares about pioneer day.

Seriously.

It's 100 degrees.

No one wants to dress up in pioneer clothes and square dance.

Go to the pool.

(that's all)

not Nelson Mandela...

Day 5 - Your favorite quote This quote is from the book "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson. It is often misattributed to Nelson Mandela, who quoted it. Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

validation

Sometimes I agonize so much about how I come off to others it's ridiculous. I was e-mailing back and forth with a girlfriend about some of my (thousands of) insecurities of course in the context of dating. I was lamenting that I have nothing to say that doesn't relate in some way to five year olds (having one at home and working with them all day at school). Here was a part of her reply. Sometimes it's nice for someone else to affirm what you try so hard to be and see in yourself. "It's no consolation from me, but you are very smart and you come off very smart and confident, almost intimidatingly so.... I think him seeing your interests outside of kids is a plus, but also your love for kids and ability to teach kids who most people can't even figure out how to communicate is a huge part of who you are. You went to enough school to be making double what you must be making (I'm pulling this out of the blue) if you'd chosen another field. That is a really big deal. The balance of having a strong sense of self and desire to better yourself, and also dedication to sacrifice and better the world around you in some way is a very rare and spectacular thing. You're giving and empathetic but not a doormat. Anyone who is dating you needs to get that and be completely blown away by how amazing that is. " Have a nice weekend. Take time to assure others... =)