Life soundtrack 2/25

I finally got one of those feed tracker things.

I had no idea there were so many people reading this blog.... Sheesh.

Sorry that, despite my frequent updates, I put such little effort into making it entertaining.

Apparently, you're still reading for whatever reason, so wow, I'm kind of flattered..

(Feel free to comment.)

So anyways,I feel really good today. Here's a few reasons why:

• I'm back in a routine. I crave and thrive on routine. The unexpected snow days and extra ridiculously long vacation were sort of fun, but it is nice to be back on track with the predictableness of life again. Being snowbound for more than 24 hours is just never a good thing for one's mental state. Thankfully, the snow is melting and all is back to normal.
• This post on motherhood from Leah. I didn't ask her permission first, so I hope it's okay to link up. I found her thoughts to be pretty insightful.
• I found my i-pod which has been lost for a few weeks (it was under the love seat in case you were interested). And I excercised tonight! I really need to excercise more because, man, endorphins make you just feel happy.
• Isaac and I actually had a playdate tonight which was lovely! I'm rather embarassed to admit that I can count the playdates Isaac has had in his whole lifetime on one hand, mostly due to my own anti-socialness. My very best friend growing up, the fabulous Kathleen, has recently moved back to the area with her three daughters. We met up at the big indoor playground at Pottstown McDonald's. Although Isaac was intially leery of hanging out with girls, he really hit it off with Kathleen's oldest. When we left he was like "I was thinking we should have them over to our place to play soon". I was thinking that same thing!
• Also, she and I agreed we would both love to do a babysitting swap. We haven't ironed out the details yet, but I'm pretty excited. It would be lovely to have someone I feel 100% comfortable with who lives only 15 mins away available to watch Isaac on occasion. And I would love to watch her girls so that she could recharge.
• I have recently learned of some pretty tough situations that some people in my life are just quietly and strongly dealing with. It makes me feel a little foolish for my catastrophic thinking over some pudge around my thighs, a fairly empty bank account and a little loneliness due to my geographic location. I mean, gosh, there are so many good things in my life to be grateful about and happy for. I make decent money at a job I really enjoy. I have health insurance. I have my own place. I have a reliable car. I have an awesome family.
• Also, I'm feeling pretty good about Isaac's dad right now. Over the years we've been all over the map, and I have been incredibly hard on him in some instances. But he has always supported Isaac and stood by him and has made a lot of sacrifices so that I could achieve my goals when Isaac was younger. I have to hand it to him also as far as Isaac's birthday is concerned, he totally planned a party for Isaac at Chuck E Cheese (a place I will rarely set foot in, especially on a Saturday) and came through with a bright red TWO WHEELER as a birthday present!

So things are good. I'm good.

And on that note, I will leave you with tonight's soundtrack from my life, courtesy of the fierce Mary J Blige...

Quick update

• I've never been a fan of crime type shows but can't stop watching Criminal Minds. Probably because it is so psychological. And they always start the next episode as soon as the first one is finished so you get sucked in watching episode after episode.

I want to be Garcia:

• I was social and went out with a friend Friday; King of Prussia Mall H&M, Urban Outfitters, and DSW = fantastic Friday. I oogled somethings in Urban Outfitters home section, but I didn't ultimately buy anything. Then we finished up our evening at California Pizza Kitchen. It was fun. While I was out with her she persuaded me to try out her adult gymnastics class. It's on Wednesdays which is the night mom sleeps over, so it would actually be doable. I am 98% certain I will feel ridiculous attempting the recreate the gymnastics moves I had perfected as a kid. I'm not sure how my chubby out of shape body will take to it, but she assures me there are all different ability/fitness levels, so I am willing to give it a try. I need some new things in my life and if it helps me be a tiny bit more physically active instead of laying around all day cooking under the laptop, that's a good thing, right?

• Speaking of physical activities I used to be into, my church is now offering a kickboxing class on Thursday nights. I would love to go to that as well since it's free and the teacher just recently had a baby, so I'm thinking it shouldn't be all people in spandex with rock hard abs. Swinging a sitter is the only thing, because in typical Relief Society style, they said to have your husband stay home to watch the kids. *Sigh*.

Back to school tomorrow....

Freakin best band ever...

Tonight's Theme Song: Time and Time Again from August and Everything After

Blah...

I have no money, no life and the only way I can cheer myself up is to be a hater on the internet.

BUT

Tomorrow is Friday. Isaac is on his way to his dad's for a fun weekend of birthday activities and I'm trying to get my own plans in order. Although I'm a little down, there's no reason for me to be living like the Unabomber. I don't necessarily feel in the mood for extreme social butterflyism, but I can at least make an effort to see people that I don't normally see this week. I'm looking forward to it....

on to more important things

Things that make me happy (in no particular order):

All of the Stephenson Men

I could write a blog devoted to each person in this picture. The men in my family are so incredible to me and Isaac and I love them each so much. No matter what, they each go out of their way to make sure that Isaac and I are taken care of and have what we need.

My brother's girlfriend Hayley and the absolutely INCREDIBLE cake she brought for Isaac's bowling birthday.

She works in a bakery and brought this home from work. I've never seen anything like the detail in the Spiderman. The picture doesn't even do it justice. Amish Buggies

Whenever I'm at my mom's place I see at least three or four. This one is going right down their street. I love that buggy parking is just as common at banks, grocery stores, and Rita's Water as car parking. They live in such a cute sleepy little town.

Newly organized handbags.

My brother Joe came over on President's Day to paint Isaac's bedroom and he helped me with a lot of random projects around the house. I had the smaller set of hooks in my closet for a while, but it could only barely hold all my bags. Now that I have the larger row on top everything looks neat and tidy inside my closet. I love it.

This picture is finally hung up!

This proportions in this photo turned out a little wierd but I think you get the gist. I've had that propped up against the living room wall forever. First we needed to paint the living room (see-- it's not blindingly white anymore! Another room painted with salvaged paint, this time leftovers from Joe's hallways.) Then we didn't have the right anchors. Then we were missing a stud finder {INSERT OBVIOUS SINGLE GIRL JOKE HERE}. But it's up and it's fabulous. The living room is coming together slowly but surely and that makes me very happy.

My diploma is hung!

Along the same lines. My Master's Degree has been hung in the office for a while but my Pitt Diploma has been just sitting in the office closet, which is such a shame. So I put it up in the hallway over the weekend (and it is straight although you can't tell from the picture).

"subtle" youtube videos in place of blog titles...

This song makes me crank up the radio and car dance at red lights. . Poor Isaac. I wonder how long till he finds out that having your mom break into song and dance to the latest pop music is not really the norm. One thing I really miss about blogging at Myspace is all of their privacy settings. You could set certain entries to be viewed by anyone, or just certain people or whatever. I want to keep my blog open to anyone who cares to click on it, but I am pretty certain that like 70% of my readership is my mom and her friends. So how candid and real do I want to be when I’m writing to that audience? Eh. We’ll see. On the other hand, I enjoy blogging and the occasional "hey, girl, you're not crazy, I'm right here with you" comment that is tossed my way. And I know personally I would rather read something that is real, rather than the standard "So blessed!!" picture blogs.

So we'll see.

Let the trainwreck continue...

A few years ago I was blog stalking an ex boyfriend and stumbled across an entry about me, posted maybe a year or two after we called it quits. It did not mention me by name but it was very obvious (to me at least) that he was referring to me/our relationship/my imperfections. It was not pleasant to read. But fair is fair. Those were/are his opinions and his blog and and how can I be angry when I went looking for it?

I think you can tell where I am going with all of this.

Anyways, without further adieu....

I was pretty freaking generous in my last entry about the demise of the relationship between PDH and myself. We broke up because pretty much since I am doing 90% of the work and rather than address issues he'd rather put our relationship on indefinite hiatus. I mean, at least have the balls to really just end it with me. I guess I have to learn not to put all my eggs in one basket, I can be a terribly trusting person. I feel a bit blindsided because it seemed like one day everything was fine and then all of a sudden everything is just not what I thought. I'm under no delusions - I don't expect a relationship to be effortless, especially one with all of the issues I detailed in the last entry - but there are some basic things that shouldn't be an issue. Interest, for me, is one of those. The person you are dating should be someone you are interested in occasionally spending time with. So is being true to your word. If you say you're going to do something, do it, and if you're not interested, just say that. I can't take uncertainty and the confusion. From now on, I feel like that's going to be my first question.

I’m also left questioning the integrity of someone puts themselves out there by joining a dating site, who bothered to take the time to become friends with me first and pursued me while I was unsure if I was ready to date and slowly peeled back my layers until I let down my emotional guard. I just don’t understand how that same person suddenly seems to have no interest in putting in more than the absolute bare minimum of effort required to maintain a relationship. Why suddenly spending time together ranks below having your car tinkered with and watching Olympic hockey. Really? Really?!

(And, I'm just going to state the obvious here: this is why I am honestly terrified by the brief courtships and engagements of so many of my lds friends. How the heck can you really know someone till you have been with them for at least a year?)

The worst part is I feel like our relationship has turned me into a pathetic, desperate crybaby. And that's never been me....

meh...

Anyways, this blog will be back to it's regular od format of failed attempts at domesticity in about a week or so...

Until then, it's going to be a little heavy on the Alanis around here...