Gay white rapper

Why do I even bother?

Well I decided Isaac and I would check out our new ward (church congregation) today. It was a disaster from start to finish. And finish was only about 2/3 of the way through sacrament meeting when I hauled him out of the chapel by his upper arm, drug him out to the front lawn, where I completely lost my patience and screamed at him and shook him and threw him in the car. Fabulous first impression. The intolerably obnoxious preschooler who spent literally the whole entire sacrament meeting going "I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant to go hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurch" and the insanely violent mother.

Saturday

Yesterday I did my pre-settlement walk through where the project manager showed me every valve, switch, button, pipe and hose and how to work every appliance. Kind of overwhelming. I hope I remember it all! He also gave me a big binder with every warranty, and a video to watch about how to care for my cabinets. I am sure it will be very riveting. Confirmed that everything was finally reading for settlement Thursday. Today Bought my furniture. It comes with an upholstery shield plan where they will come back and clean any stains from foods or beverages for a lifetime. Should be useful! Set up the moving truck. E-mailed muscly friends and family members to enlist them for moving. Things are coming together which is good. I just wish school would hurry up and get out. It would be so much easier to tend to all of these details if I wasn't so consumed with work stuff. How are things going for all of you?

Books

Isaac is currently rubbing lotion onto my feet. Does life get better than this? I don't think so. I have been doing some reading lately which has been awesome. I have neglected reading for pleasure for so long that it has been so refreshing to pick up a book again. A Girl Named Zippy - 3/5 stars An autobiography done in different snapshots. It was okay. The scattered tone and mixed up time line got tiresome after a bit. It was a quick and humorous read though. Breaking Dawn 2/5 Stars Ugh, where to start. Okay, well I will start out by admitting that I read this book in less than five days. I read over 200 pages in 36 hours. It is like a train wreck, you want to look away, but you can't. You can't put the book down. My critiques of this book are the same that I have had for the whole series. Bella is a piss poor role model for young girls; she continues to be written as annoyingly weak and helpless. She does grow a bit of a spine and make important decisions without Edward (and even keeps a secret from him- *gasp*). She starts off the book by deciding not to go to college and getting married. By the time her honeymoon is over she is knocked up with a half vampire baby. Her whole life continues to center around Edward who finally changes her to be a vampire. I will admit, that Edward was less annoying in this book, and definitely did not display as many signature characteristics of an abusive, controlling boyfriend as he did in the first book. This book features about 100 more vampires, all with special characteristics that you have to try to keep straight and waaaaaay too much info about the sex life of vampires. Anyways, if you are in the mood for a light, fluffy, not terribly well written read, I recommend the Twilight Series. Next on my reading list: Water for Elephants. Anyone else have any recommendations? I want to read at least ten books this summer.

Pride

So I added some music.

But don't worry, it won't make it play unless you want it to.

Disclaimer (lest I be called out for being a hypocrite): this album is the ONLY exception to my strict no country policy. It is an awesome record and there is a great documentary called Shut Up and Sing about how they wrote it the whole thing.

It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself

Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow

No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else

Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down

If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way

I have definitely chosen the long way around in so many aspects of my life. The song talks about how her high school friends are married and moved into houses but she could never follow. My own stubborness, pride, rebelliousness and desire to go against the grain have led me on a different path than pretty much everyone I grew up with. Most of my (church) friends from high school moved out west, met their soulmates, and are married and have a mini-van full of kids. I left for college and went through some terribly rebellious years with everything culminating in my pregnancy. The path since then has not always been easy. I wonder why I can't be more humble and submissive and open to people who are trying to help me to a better way. I guess the hopeful part is that I am "getting it back on the road somehow" even if I have chosen a longer way....

Anyways, that's all.

To A Child Love is Spelled TIME

I found this book amongst my mom's stuff. I don't know where it came from. But I picked it up. It's a collection of quotes and short stories about what yoru children really need from you. Some of it hit really close to home. I realized that during the week I leave for work before Isaac wakes up. I come home at 4:30, by 7:30 I put Isaac in bed and 8:00 is light's out. That does not give us very much time together and I certainly crowd out that precious time too often with unimportant things. I need to do better. Here were some my favorite quotes from the book:

"Our greatest danger in life is permit urgent things to crowd out the important" - Charles E Hummel

"Things that matter the most must never be at the mercy of things that matter the least" -- Goethe

"You will never find the time to spend with your children. You have to make time and plan for it. There is no other possible way. Time is the raw material of your relationship with your child and must be guarded at all costs. It's true what they say: a bucket with a hole in it gets just as empty as a bucket that is deliberately kicked over. Life will shout a thousand demands to take you away from time spent with your child. If you permit the urgent to rule, you will use time you can never recover or catch with your hand. What happens in the changing life of a child will never be repeated. All the gold in the world cannot buy back either the delights of the day or the big pleasures that happen without announcement or plan. You simply have to be there" - p. 22

"Enjoy your children, delight in them, and they will take pleasure in you. You'll never find a hand that feels so good as your child's. Nothing in this creation compares to cuddling and snuggling with your little one. Have you searched the fathoms of the mystery in your child's eyes? Have you listened to your child's prayers and cried out to God for such a simple faith? Do you delight in holding your precious one in the night, even till morning's light? If you miss the joy of being a parent, your child will miss the fulness of your love."

Also

My mother is having some pretty serious health concerns. Your thoughts and prayers for her would be much appreciated. She will probably be having a pretty major surgery coming up and it is pretty terrifying to even let myself begin to ponder the ramifications of that. It is weird when you realize that your loved ones are not invincible...